Sunday, March 7, 2010

Changing seasons

I saw a flock of grackles Friday. They're back. It was so warm yesterday that I did not put on my coat all day. I had it thrown in the back seat of Cara's car, but did not need it. My sweater was warm enough.

A blog post over at Sarah's struck a chord. I've often found myself looking back, surprised to re-realize that I had cancer. Me. I had cancer. I'm not sure why it all seems so dream like. Is it due to all the drugs in your system? Is it your own inability to wrap your head around the idea that you're dealing with something that could kill you? I don't know for sure. I know that I used to flinch at the sight of myself naked. The scars. The lopsidedness. Two different colors even, from the radiation (how long can breast tissue retain a 'tan'? It's been 10 months!) Time marches on, I guess, because I was toweling off the other day, looking at myself thoughtfully. I was not flinching. I was viewing the scars no differently than my gray hair, or the lines on my face. Somehow they have managed to become just another feature. They are simply who I am. I guess that I have turned a corner.

5 comments:

BUSH BABE said...

A long and winding road... so glad you are taking us on it.
:-)
BB

Sara Williams said...

Thanks ever so much for your kind words on my blog. I have some way to go just yet but I am getting there, hopefully one day soon I will feel like you do x

Jayne said...

Happy International Women's Day, it's our strength to accept and take on changes like you have while still going ever onwards that makes us so special ;)

Cheryl Radford said...

Deb, your beauty shines through. It says so much about you!
A beautiful Post..

Bill of Wasilla said...

The multi-colored you - alive, articulate and beautiful.