Last night, I woke up. Tim was having a restless night (it always happens when he has caffeine after 5 PM), and in his tossing and turning, he managed to steal the blankets. Shivering, I sat up and grabbed my share of the blankets back. Then I burrowed back under them, and tried to get warm again. Suddenly I realized that I've been cold a lot lately. Freezing. I've begun taking a sweater with me. I am cold a lot. Out of the blue, it hit me. Those wretched horrible hot flashes are starting to taper off. They started a little over a year ago, shortly after I began chemo. They were unrelenting, one after another. And when summer rolled around...gees...just miserable. Enough said. But somehow, without me even noticing, they've eased off. Last night, I laid in the dark marveling over that while I shivered.
Another thing that I noticed is that my wooly tufty hair is now shiny and smooth again. It feels soft when I touch it. I guess that initial 'chemo hair' is gone. After two haircuts, I guess that the hair that was damaged by those toxic drugs has been cut off, and it has been replaced by healthy hair.
My life is going back to normal. Day by day, the fears recede. Day by day, I get more practical about the joint pain. Day by day, I get better and stronger. I'm losing weight. Friday, I read about neurotransmitters, and synaptic clefts, and dopamine and glutamates and GABA and norepinenephrine, and I realized that I was comprehending it. I'm clear minded again, and that is a great thing too. Last year at this time, I was not sure that my life would ever again be normal, but it has been happening, without my noticing, even.
Last night, I shivered and tried to get warm again as my husband tossed and turned, playing tug of war with the bedding. I felt so darn lucky that there were tears.