DavidM had a post a couple days back about seeing things another way. Today was psych class. I'm beginning to dread that class. Truly. I go there prepared, to the very best of my ability, and I am doing okay. Today, she gave us a pop quiz. I was one of four to pass it. Then she asked us for our paragraphs on a movie that we had begun to watch. We watched perhaps 10 minutes and then she stopped it. Like most of the people in the class, I expected to see the rest of the movie at another time. Several days passed with no mention. My notes for the portion of the movie stayed in my notebook. She was amazed that most people had not written a paragraph. I turned in my notes. It will undoubtedly receive a low grade. I was listening to her today, when suddenly she said, "Are you alright?" It took a few moments to realize that she was speaking to me. Astonished, I said, "Yes. Why?" and she commented that she expected to see me writing as she spoke. I had already done so, and could not understand her singling me out. I perform well on the tests and my thoughts are that my notes are my business. My tests are hers. She asked a question and the other 'top dog' in the class raised his hand. Sarcastically, she said, "It's good to know that you have the right answer again, Joe." I don't bother to raise my hand anymore. I just don't. Just as likely as not, you're going to wind up looking like a fool for doing so. I listen. I listen hard. I take good notes in class. I take copious notes on the reading, and I make damn sure that I am prepared for a test of some sort each and every day that I go into that classroom. So far, my strategy has been working. I hover between an A and a B, although I fully expect to be slammed hard for the fact that my 'paragraph' was the notes I took for the portion of the movie we had viewed. I am anxious for my midterm grades.
On the way home, I thought of DavidM's post. Is there another way to look at all of this? I am a hard worker. My goal is the dean's list. It's not enough for me to do well. I want to do really well. I'm grabbing for the golden ring. I tried to see another reason for her behavior and I cannot, but what I can see is other ways for my own behavior. I can stop being rankled. She is not the first unreasonable person that I have run into. She will not be the last. I will focus on my performance, not hers. I will be prepared, always. I will also take a deep breath and accept the truth of it: she might be the difference between me and the dean's list. Simple truth of the matter is, even if I do not make the dean's list, I will undoubtedly do well this semester, and perhaps I need to learn to be okay with that.
Is there a difference between motivated and driven? There might be. Maybe I have crossed the line.