I just wanted to see the date, that's all. I wanted to see January 1st, 2010 in print.
It was a quiet night here. The weather was atrocious. By the time that Cara and Dylan finally made it home from Allentown, they were about fed up with driving, and snow, and traffic updates. They walked in the house, and they never left, bringing in the New Year with the old folks. Snow made the traffic slow going, and accidents brought the traffic to a standstill. "Mom," said Dylan aghast. "Have you ever listened to the lyrics of some of Cara's music?!!!" and Cara retaliated with "I thought that I was going to DIE listening to Dylan's country music..." and Dylan said, "Well, your music made my ears bleed," and Cara said, "Yeah, Mom, did you know that Dylan's decided to read more?" and Dylan said, "Stop..." and Cara said, "Guess what magazine he's got coming to his house?" and I said, "You know, I'm really glad you both are home," and I meant it too. 7 hours in a vehicle together had taken a toll on them. 8 hours might have caused irrepairable damage.
The New Year came in, and was toasted, and then we all went to bed. I have no wisdom to share here. No big resolutions. I simply enjoyed where I was at, I enjoyed the people that I was with, and you know, I also enjoyed those jalapeno poppers.
I bought gifts for my children. I was going to give them at Christmas, but I decided that New Year's was more appropriate. I bought them each wine glasses and a nice bottle of wine. The accompanying note reads: 'At some point in 2010, you're going to have a great day, one that you will remember always. Wait for it. Expect it. Take note of this day. Celebrate it.'
I've spent a great deal of my life listening to people tell me what I should not do. What I should do. Being ridiculed for thinking my own thoughts. Being criticized for what I feel, for what is important to me. In this past year, I've come to realize that I have the answers to my own questions, that my own judgement can be trusted. I've broken free and stepped into my own. I've quit agonizing over what others think, I've quit trying to change their minds. I've discovered another woman looking back at me from the mirror. I've discovered that I am satisfied.
I want my own children to discover this before they are 52, and so today, they get their wine and their glasses. It is my hope that they will begin to wait in expectation for their special day, and somewhere along the way, they will discover that all of their days are.