Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Quitter

Cara and I had a chance to visit as she sprawled on the stairs, and talked to me as I worked in the kitchen getting the bread ready.

"Mom," she asked, "how can you tell if you're walking away from an impossible situation or if you're just a quitter?"

There's a question. "I guess that I'd have to say when you have done all that you can do, when you realize that you cannot change the situation, when the situation begins to make you miserable, affect your own life in a negative way, well, I guess that it's time to walk away, to move on to something else where you can make a difference."

You have to know yourself, I guess. You have to know your own limits. When it comes right down to it, it is a personal decision ~ when does enough become enough? I didn't tell her that no matter what, you'll have people who call you a quitter. What matters though, is what you call yourself.

15 comments:

Mrs. Spit said...

Sometimes, sometimes I think it's worth it to quit. To recognize your time, your effort, God's call on your life is worth something.

Jayne said...

Absolutely, gotta recognise when it's become "hitting head against brick wall" rather than productive effort.
Our time can be better spent elsewhere and bugger those who label others as quitters, they don't count ;)

BUSH BABE said...

Yep - it's one of those times when you've really got to look deep inside you, rather than to others. And really understand that it's YOU that has to live with you, not bystanders who feel like passing opinion. Who gives a rats what they think? (And I even include THIS peanut gallery here!)

You'll do the right thing Cara.
:-)
BB

BUSH BABE said...

Yep - it's one of those times when you've really got to look deep inside you, rather than to others. And really understand that it's YOU that has to live with you, not bystanders who feel like passing opinion. Who gives a rats what they think? (And I even include THIS peanut gallery here!)

You'll do the right thing Cara.
:-)
BB

BUSH BABE said...

Is there an echo in here?
:-)

quid said...

How hard it is, in these economic times, to be able to make these choices. Recent trends in people who might ordinarily choose to divorce, not divorcing... people who might ordinarily choose a different occupation--not being able to look for a different opportunity when none exists, etc., etc.

In some ways, when we were still living in the "age of consumption" we were also living in the "age of choice". Now our choices have to be tempered by our worries of financial security.

I'm just sayin' (not that I'm limiting my own choices...much)

quid

MuseSwings said...

Beautiful insight and words - as always! Those who call others quitters have probably often quit when there was still plenty of hope and plenty to do for the situation. They're just looking for company, but they won't find it from those who know when to walk away.

Debby said...

Muse! Oh, my gosh! How I've missed you! Hi!

BB - I hadn't noticed an echo until you got here...

Everyone else - good words. I'll direct Cara to them. These are good thoughts.

Kelly said...

All well said. Especially the part about there always being some who will call you a quitter no matter what. That's something I've always tried to impress upon my kids.... that you have no control over what others are going to say about you. You, and those who really care about you, will always know the truth.

Scotty said...

I've learned in life that some things won't change no matter how much you want them to, especially if someone else is making the decisions. If however, you've tried all reasonable avenues to change/fix something and the situation is still untenable, then you should be able to walk away with a clear conscience.

steviewren said...

Good answer. I've learned that just because you quit, it doesn't make you a quitter.

Confusion and depression come from never being able to admit that no matter what one might do, one can't change some things.

Lori said...

Very true, and very well-put. I think when you've tried every option and nothing changes, and, as you said, you're miserable or your life is being affected negatively, then you shouldn't feel like a quitter if you decide to walk away.

Bob said...

Walking away and quitting are not necessarily synonymous.

Daria said...

What a great conversation ... I love the part ...
"What matters though, is what you call yourself."

PaintedPromise said...

do you suppose that Cara could give my girls a few pointers on having bloggable discussions and questions? that would sure help my dry spells ;)