Saturday, January 9, 2010

Just in Case

Room by room, Christmas has been collected and is in the process of being shoved back into the attic where it will sleep for another year. I saw a friend at the Walmart the other day while I was picking up that percolator. She was there to pick up another tote for her Christmas stuff. "How do I keep accumulating this stuff?" she asked. "Dunno," I said, "but Kathy, every year my attic gets smaller. How does that happen?" And she got wide eyed, because she thought that she was the only one with that problem. One of life's mysteries, I imagine.

So, anyhow, I'd taken down the tree, disassembled the tree (first year for an artificial ~ Dylan was stunned. He believes that this might well be the Christmas that lives in infamy.) I boxed up the Christmas village, and I packed away the nativity. I hauled the boxes up to the second floor landing as I filled them. When I was done, I pulled down the attic door, and unfolded the stairs, and began to haul boxes into the attic.

In the attic, very suddenly, I found myself thinking, "Put the tree and the tree ornaments in the front for Tim. Label the Nativity too. The other things will be too much for him." I was still for a moment in that cold, dark attic. Where did that come from? It was as if I'd picked up, briefly, a slightest bit of distant radio signal, one that was immediately lost again in the static. There was nothing else. I don't consider myself morbid or maudlin. It wasn't something that caused me to cry or be fearful. It was just a practical sort of thought that came to me very clearly. So I put the Christmas dishes to the back. The Christmas village went in next. The nativity and the tree and the ornaments for the tree went up front, clearly labeled, easily accessible.

It was sensible.


Mrs. Spit said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mrs. Spit said...

I have a Christening and Burial dress, for a 25-30 week baby packed away, just in case. As soon as we started trying again, I went and bought it.

I understand.

Redlefty said...

Not morbid at all, just a very smart pragmatic and thoughtful gesture.

At least, I'd like to think of it that way because I often have similar thoughts. I recently bought a new suit (my first in 15 years) and then I just realized it would be my funeral suit for several family members in the years ahead.

Not sure where these things come from.

WhiteStone said...

Me, too. Instead of taking advantage of the after-sale discounts on Christmas cards, I decided to wait till Nov 2010 to worry about that. I just recognize there are no guarantees.

I had my maudlin thoughts pre-Christmas. Once I got past them, I feel just fine emotionally. Just fine.

Bill of Wasilla said...

I suppose it's sensible... but it makes me sigh sadly.

Mrs. Spit - this makes me feel even sadder.

BUSH BABE said...

You lot are making me very trembly. Cut it out. My friend who died suddenly this week had everything pretty much organised - eulogy written, songs picks etc. Stunned us all. And it makes me think: what on earth would MY family do in such an instance. My friend was not a physically ill woman. Healthy as a horse.

And I realise, I need to sort myself in this way. To take the pressure off them, should the unspeakable ever happen. Sensible.

Now you can quit talking like that and start making some plans for the future.

PS Mrs Spit {{{{{hugs}}}}}

Debby said...

Oh, Mrs. Spit, hugs from here, as well.

Lorelei said...

I understand. I get 'signals' quite often. Nothing morbid or maudlin about that! Just being a caretaker and putting things in order (initiated by what I believe to be guidance from above & very hard working guarding angels). I am thankful for the extra help/gift since none of us mortals live forever.
To me personally it shows that you will be an excellent Occupational Therapist who in your own words...."would be helping people to live on their own". It's a good thing.

Congratulations on going to college & the part time job. Take good care.

Anonymous said...

Debby I guess I am alittle like you too just yeaterday I told my husband as he packed away our artificial chrsistmas tree that he should amrk on the box that the stockings and holders were also in that box. It was jsut a thought that camedr over my head what if I wasnt here and he deicide to get rid of that tree for some reason and wouldnt open the box forst he wouldnt remember the stockings were in there and someone else might get thewm if he gave our tree away. Not being morbid but after just losing ayoung friend this week I too had those jkind of thoughts. Our friend was jsut 32 yrs old and he died new years morning of heart attack brought on by severe sleep apnea , he was to get acpap breathign machine on monday and died early fri morning leaving wife and two teenagers. It was such a sad beginning to all of us who knew him new year. My husband was a pallbearer the funeral was thurs , vising hours were wed which was my birthday so it was sad birthday for me this year and things like this make us think the way you did Debby about little things if we might not be here for them one day we want our family to know where things are etc. On a happier note, so happy for you about your college plans and your new part time job, guess that wont leave you any time to meet me in town for coffee like we had discussed but le tme know if you do want to some day. I need some happy times to get my mind off losing one of my favorite dogs just tow days after christmas and now my best friends son in law on new years day. Give me a call if you can get together sometime. Debbie L

Lori said...

Thoughts like that come to me too once in a while, and I've never had a critical illness. I think, though, that once you have, or if you've recently dealt with a death of someone close, that it would make sense for you to still be in this "mode" of thinking. Right after my father died and we had gone through his things, my mother started going through her own things, so that, she said, "it would be easier on you girls." Having said that, you plan on sticking around a good long time to come, okay?

PaintedPromise said...

my motto is, if you are preapred for something, it won't happen. it's when you are NOT prepared that you get slammed... so i talk and plan and prepare all the time. my friends say "don't talk like that" but i feel better knowing i've sorted things out... i even have a list of acceptable people to rehome my critter kids to if something should happen to me before my husband, since he wouldn't be able to {or, quite honestly, want to} keep them! and yes i do update it periodically!