I took the college placement exam tonight. I walked in there with my three sharpened pencils and set them on my desk. I was immediately reminded of a Mr. Bean sequence, and wanted to burst out laughing. Probably stress. One quick look around proved to me what I already expected...I was easily the oldest person there. Even older than the proctor. Dangly earrings aren't going to make you feel any better about that, and I didn't dare to wear high heels. It was icy and I was sure that I'd bust my butt. So yeah, no false bravado radiating from my ears and feet. I was on my own, and I began to feel nervous. We began the test, and one by one, the kids finished and headed out, one at a time, until there were only two of us left in the room. I put the finishing touches on my essay, and then stood up at the same time that the girl behind me did. The proctor headed back to her, and so I stepped out into the hall to snorf down some coffee and take deep cleansing breaths. Naturally, I found someone to talk to, a secretary from the company and Tim and I met at all those many years ago when I first came back to Pennsylvania with the kids. She was thrilled to see me, and we were quickly catching each other up on what we'd been doing in the intervening years. The proctor stepped out into the hall, and it was the moment of truth.
Turns out I'm smart. Turns out that she believes that now is the time for me to get started in school, that I will be eligible for a lot more grants and scholarships because Cara is in college as well. Turns out that she is quite adamant that I should avoid job training programs and go straight for the degree.
I know that I'm not stupid, but I'm a little amazed to find myself deemed 'college material'. Tim says this proves what he's known right along. Tomorrow, I'll begin the financial aid stuff. Tonight, I'm simply going to let it all sink in.
I'm going to college.
And just typing those words, just seeing them on the screen, well, I've got tears in my eyes.