Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Mrs. Incredible

Bush Babe made the most incredible claim.


"I actually boasted publicly that for a brief couple of hours, NOT ONE THING was dirty in my house... laundry, I mean. And if THAT ain't worth twittering, my dear feathered friends, then NOTHING is!"


Just reading those words gave me a little thrill. Imagine it, people. Not one piece of dirty laundry in the whole house. This thing has never happened to me before. Not ever. I mean, through the years, there have been lots of times I thought I was done with laundry. But there was always a baby to spit up (or worse). Or when they got older, there was always someone coming in with a gym bag, or dropping some work clothes down the chute. Sometimes it was simply a matter of opening a bedroom door and finding another two bushels of laundry. But it was never, never done.

So, Bush Babe, you have achieved something that most of us only aspire to. I don't know how you'd celebrate something like that, really. (Although, I know it shouldn't involve changing clothes.) Somehow you have managed to find favor with the great laundry god. I actually see him as not so much a deity as much as a troublesome imp who visits every house in the world every day (what?!!!! Santa does it..) leaving mounds of dirty laundry behind. He also is known for swiping socks leaving you with a handful of socks with no mates (you've always wondered, haven't you...) If you are having trouble with your washer or dryer, you know that he's been there and gone. He's also known for casting a cloud across the mind so that you forget, sometimes to switch the laundry from the washer to the dryer. Mysterious stains. Things left in pockets. Small annoyances, but don't underestimate his power. When you've really aggravated him, he's capable of things like porcupines in the washer.

The worst part is that he is a capricious and temperamental thing, and you can find yourself on his bad side and never completely understand what you have done wrong. Yet somehow, somehow, Bush Babe found favor.

*stares in awe*

BB? Really. We all wait with worms on our tongues. (Bated breath) What was the offering that so pleased the great laundry god that he allowed you to be done with laundry?

7 comments:

Lesley said...

HAHAHAHA Oh Debby... you have done it once again... started my day off with a really good laugh!!! I am definitely going to have to call Mom and read this one to her. But, like you, I would love to know what the 'special offering' was to the great laundry god cause I would love to just catch up for a day!!! LOL

A Novel Woman said...

I still think she's fibbing. Do we have photographic evidence? Thought not.

Now I'm reminded I forgot to dry the load I washed yesterday.... and then I have to clean out the garage which is an extension of the laundry room, which I'll do when I literally climb over the piles of dirty laundry waiting to be tended to. I'd take a photo but I don't want to be pilloried by the Laundry Police.

Kelly said...

I'm not sure I have ever achieved that moment of total laundry cleanliness, either. I thouoght once the kids all left home I might approach 100% clean, but we multiplied the number of dogs and, well...

I need to go move a load of formerly nasty, muddy towels over to the dryer.

(NOT complaining! I've thankful I HAVE a washer and dryer!! ...and electricity!)

Cara said...

Never fret, never fret, mother-dear. I've got laundry to come home for the weekend! :) There are ramen noodle stains on some of my things, btw's. It will be just like old times.

Debby said...

Cara - You did not eat ramen noodles at home, so it's not like old times at all. That stuff is so high in sodium it's a wonder your eyeballs don't explode.

Novel Woman: By golly, you are correct. She takes pictures of EVERYTHING, but she did not take pictures of this...and heaven knows, this is big stuff!! Probably fibbing. Man. Do I feel better....

Leslie - glad you're laughing. Gees. Hope BB finds this funny as well.

Kelly - You are not alone, sister.

jeanie said...

I always find when I THINK I am at that point, I find the load that I forgot about - the worst is when you find that you forgot it IN the washing machine and therefore it is soo musty...

Bush Babe said...

OK OK Bush Babe here... been sans computer for a few days and missed this post!!! I would hereby like the state the I did INDEED have all laundry washed and dry. One load did not get QUITE back into drawers before people climbed out of pajamas with egg dribbles down the front, but still...

I seriously need to point out that while I am a shocking housekeeper, I am somewhat obsessed with washing. Shame the obsession doesn't extend to folding and ironing really.
*crosses arms*
So you want photos of my EMPTY laundry baskets? That will make RIVETTING blogging (and not too hard to set up, just quietly).
:-)
BB