Thursday, October 8, 2009

Mood Buster

What a day yesterday was. And the day before yesterday, for that matter. The shoulder has been an issue for quite a while. Now I'm discovering, when it is cold and damp, that the aches sort of hijack my whole body. The last couple weeks have been severe. The aches begin to disrupt sleep. I'm not a rational woman when I am short sleeped. I began to try to research things online, how to help myself, but reading about cancer and aches and pains and treatment and...well. That's some depressing stuff. Next thing you know, my mood is taking on a definate dark aura, and I'm thinking things like, "This is how it's going to be forever..." and crying over pictures on Jeanie's blog and Jamie's blog. Sorry, Bill, still laughed at yours. The visuals that went along with the story of your citizen's arrest of the drunken Good Humor Lady were hysterical. By the time, I got to the Cracker Kat post, I had tears in my eyes, but not from weeping. I had to leave your site right away, before my dark and dreary mood was completely ruined.

But, as usual, I digress.

Over on Jill's blog, she's been dealing with weeks of lymphodema. I realized, reading her frustrations, that it is the time involved that begins to wear on your patience. I still am the stoic and strong person that I used to be, but give me a couple weeks of dealing with pain, and I begin to unravel around the edges. I also kind of figured out that it is natural that this would happen, which made me feel better about things.

Today, I've got a check list going:

1. Pick up potatoes to go with salmon tonight.
2. Drop off job applicaton at the courthouse.
3. Mail off a half dozen boxes that I finally got put together last night.
4. Drop off books at the library, pick up some Christmas ornament craft books for a church project.
5. Drop newspaper payment off.
6. Pick up some Omega-3.
7. Etc. etc. etc. (I really could get pretty tedious here, but decided to have mercy on you.)

It's a pretty boring little list, but as I check things off, I will feel productive. I haven't lately, and feeling like I'm accomplishing something is important to me. While, I'm out and about, I'll run into people that I know, and I'll end up talking for longer than I should. Just the thought of that makes me feel better.

I'd like to think that I have a pretty good handle on life, but it never ceases to amaze me how I can lose my bearings during the rough patches. The worst part is that I never seem to notice that I've lost my bearings until I'm up to my armpits in alligators as we say. I suppose this is why support groups are so important. Support groups and blogs. Sorry for all the gloom and doom and dark and dreary posts. I think I'm getting over it.

11 comments:

rhubarbwhine said...

Really, why apologise for 'doom and gloom' ? You tell it like it is, and that's why we come back, keep reading and love you. N o one thinks any less of you, or any more of you, despite your worries. Debby, you rock, we know it. Hope you know it too.

Bush Babe said...

What she said. (Rhubarb I mean).

You are in pain Deb. We are all the same when we cannot rest our bodies properly from chronic pain... it sucks. Big Time. And it gets us down. Of COURSE you are down - you are not getting the rest you need. I do wish those doctors of yours would get onto it properly to relieve it for you. Want me to come and nag someone for ya??
Hugs
BB

Debby said...

Nah, BB. I think I'm good. I've got an appointment tomorrow, and I'm a bit of a whiney baby myself. Thanks for not noticing. You too, Rhu. (Sorry. I just wanted to say that...)

Roland said...

:)

WhiteStone said...

While I catting around (reclining in the CT machine), I'll be thinking of you and nudging you to speak up to the doc. Right now....write down all your questions. And expect some kind of answer. (I'm one to talk. lol)

Karen said...

Hey, while you're at the Doc's, don't forget to ask about that long phrase: Glucosamine Chondroitin. It's a joint fix-er-upper, actually it helps to lubricate them, and it's working for me. Exercise if you con, too ,to get those joints and ligaments loose. Beleive me, it all helps. Hoping you feel better; love to have coffee with 'ya or something sometime!

Bill said...

I hate to spoil a dark and dreary mood, yet I am glad that I was able to, for awhile.

You do pretty good, though, even in dark and gloom, and you make me laugh, too.

Kelly said...

The Glucosamine idea sounds good. Both my husband and my 10 year old rottweiler take it. I can't remember why my husband takes it, but my rottie takes it for her hips and it works wonders!

Hope the mood is lifting!

jeanie said...

Oh, I didn't mean to make you cry, Debby.

Hugs?

I know my worst depression was triggered when I had severe neck pain - its a bit like when you have a baby - you can cope with one or two things, you can even cope with baby having a crappy day - but a baby cannot cope with you having a crappy time.

I think your mind is a bit the same - when everything is bicycling along smoothly coping is cool. When you have worries or pain (or, lord help us, both) then it starts to pick up fluff on its needle and life becomes far, far more difficult.

Anonymous said...

Hi Debby, Gee I wish I had run into you today as we seem to have been just missing each other in our errand running. After my work out at CURVES I went to Goodwill store for some 29 cent sweat pants and shirts to wear to do barn chores in cold weather then went to Aldi's and picked up a bottle of omega 3 as I saw the suggestion in one of your friends comments to youtr blog this week so for my body aches thought I would give it a try hope you found a good buy on yours today . I guess I was supposed to be there at that store jsut at the time a lady I hadnt seen in a few yerars was there , I over heard her talking to a person about how she had lost her husband in may . She had been a dog grooming cusotmer of mine years ago and she was out today taking an amsih woman shopping. I didnt get over to speak to her and as I left the store she was coming back in and asked me if I knew if they had a phone or if I had cell phone , shich I did and she needed to call a garage as she had locked her keys in her car. So I drove her and her amish friend and all theri groceries to the garage in downtown and they made her a new key since sh ehad jsut recently bought her car there and I drove her back to aldi's. They kept saying God works in strange ways and sends people to help out in times of need. The down side was that the garage charged her $5 to make a key that she HAD to return to them as soon as hse could drive back there and she was not going to get her $5 refunded to her when she went back , and she had bought the car from them! I didnt think that was right, they really took advantage of a widow and I made a note in my mind to not ever do business at that garage. And like you, I am a talkewr too and tend to get out and about and time seems to go by , so for my trip to warren in late morning I didnt get home til almost 3:oo after I had finally made it to my original destination at Fashion Bug to take advantage of theri special of the week , leggings for just $5 the thing was though that you copuld get 3 pairs per customer but darn if they didnt only have them in two colors! So of course I got a pair in each color gray and black was hoping to get apair in brown or nay too but the clerk said even if Id been there yesterday morning when the sale started they only had them in those two colors. So why offer them 3 to a customer?! Well, hope the omega 3 helps you and I will try it too as my exercisng has really not loosened up my joints like your friend said but I have lost 6 inches in just 4 weeks of going there 3 times a week! I usually run into Dollar General since it s right next door so maybe I will see you the next time you are out . Good luck on your job application at the courthouse. Debbie L.

steviewren said...

Debby, I've been in a lot of pain this year as well. I've realized on the days I feel good that I'm upbeat and happy...something I used to be most of the time. When I feel bad I am a whiny butt. I'm tired of hearing myself whine, but when you feel bad you whine before you know it. Don't apologize for feeling bad...you can't help it.