What a day yesterday was. And the day before yesterday, for that matter. The shoulder has been an issue for quite a while. Now I'm discovering, when it is cold and damp, that the aches sort of hijack my whole body. The last couple weeks have been severe. The aches begin to disrupt sleep. I'm not a rational woman when I am short sleeped. I began to try to research things online, how to help myself, but reading about cancer and aches and pains and treatment and...well. That's some depressing stuff. Next thing you know, my mood is taking on a definate dark aura, and I'm thinking things like, "This is how it's going to be forever..." and crying over pictures on Jeanie's blog and Jamie's blog. Sorry, Bill, still laughed at yours. The visuals that went along with the story of your citizen's arrest of the drunken Good Humor Lady were hysterical. By the time, I got to the Cracker Kat post, I had tears in my eyes, but not from weeping. I had to leave your site right away, before my dark and dreary mood was completely ruined.
But, as usual, I digress.
Over on Jill's blog, she's been dealing with weeks of lymphodema. I realized, reading her frustrations, that it is the time involved that begins to wear on your patience. I still am the stoic and strong person that I used to be, but give me a couple weeks of dealing with pain, and I begin to unravel around the edges. I also kind of figured out that it is natural that this would happen, which made me feel better about things.
Today, I've got a check list going:
1. Pick up potatoes to go with salmon tonight.
2. Drop off job applicaton at the courthouse.
3. Mail off a half dozen boxes that I finally got put together last night.
4. Drop off books at the library, pick up some Christmas ornament craft books for a church project.
5. Drop newspaper payment off.
6. Pick up some Omega-3.
7. Etc. etc. etc. (I really could get pretty tedious here, but decided to have mercy on you.)
It's a pretty boring little list, but as I check things off, I will feel productive. I haven't lately, and feeling like I'm accomplishing something is important to me. While, I'm out and about, I'll run into people that I know, and I'll end up talking for longer than I should. Just the thought of that makes me feel better.
I'd like to think that I have a pretty good handle on life, but it never ceases to amaze me how I can lose my bearings during the rough patches. The worst part is that I never seem to notice that I've lost my bearings until I'm up to my armpits in alligators as we say. I suppose this is why support groups are so important. Support groups and blogs. Sorry for all the gloom and doom and dark and dreary posts. I think I'm getting over it.