Thursday, October 29, 2009


I've often wondered how some people can endure the unendurable and come away with a profound understanding of God. Others enduring the same experience can come away convinced that there is no God at all. This is a discussion of God and war. Sometimes, the words were painful to hear. I folded laundry thoughtfully, listening, and on a rainy and dark afternoon in Pennsylvania, I contemplated my own beliefs, my own humanity. Only once in my life have I ever threatened to kill someone, and I meant it, with all of my heart. I also knew that I was capable of it. It changes you to say those words. It changes you to mean them. But the stories that I listened to while matching socks are much bigger than any small drama I have known. I listened to principled and moral people discuss why they believed or did not. I listened to their reasoning, and I understood why they turned to God, and even why they turned away from Him.

I know what it is that I believe, but today I thought a great deal about why I believe in these things. It occurs to me that when you listen, you think. The world would be a much better place if we all learned to listen more.


Alli said...

I have questioned my beliefs over and over again. Sometimes getting so pissed off at the Higher Power that I just said enough rather hug a tree than put my faith in something I can't see.
I have never questioned God as to why I have Breast Cancer. It's not his fault.. I have not found myself bargaining with God but I do ask he take care of me and all the other going through similar problems. Nor am I fanatic about my beliefs. I am not out to change anyone's belief or their priorities. Each to their own. But at the end of the day I am glad I do have my faith. It does help me personally.....

Alli XX

Anonymous said...

If you believe in God the cancer cannot win, no matter what happens. That is how I look at it. Ultimately, you win. It means hope in the midst of cancer and not despair.

Kerry Osborne