You know, I am a believer. I believe in God. The Alpha. The Omega. I know that not everyone does. Their unbelief does not affect my belief, and so I am not offended, and enjoy their company anyway. I believe that all roads ultimately lead to God.
I recently had an e-mail from an acquaintance. She is a believer too, she and her husband. They no longer go to church, but study tapes from a minister who does not believe that people can learn about God without his guidance. She has always been a very judgemental person, and we have spoken about this. Perhaps as a result of this, I have not heard from her lately. I got two e-mails from her on Friday, and I was shocked to realize that she no longer even sounds coherent. She paints canvasses black and believes that God puts prophetic pictures in the blackness. She speaks of demon insects, of Satan, of the beast, of naked prostitutes, hollow eyed children, angels, she points to a thumb print of God. I see nothing, and I read these captions to her pictures, and I am afraid for her.
I find myself studying my own situation, my seesawing emotions. I'm strong one minute, weepy the next, praying amidst the uncertainty, trying to keep a level head. I've been worried about my own focus. After pondering it for the day, I decide this: The difference between my friend and me is this: she has isolated herself and her husband from a community of Christians. She has limited all contact with people who believe differently. I may waver, and have difficult times but I have my friends to help me down the road when times get rough. She trusts no one but a disembodied voice on a tape. I am desperately afraid that she and her husband have gotten lost.