Friday, August 28, 2009

Walmart Backs Me Into a Corner

I wandered in to the Walmart to buy my dog his canned dog food. Then I bought some cards - a couple birthday cards, an encouraging card, an aniversary card and one that I bought simply because it reminded me of my friend. I always buy sensitive and touching sorts of cards, because that is how I am. Hey...did you know that Harry Truman once said "Never kick a fresh turd on a hot day"? I had to buy that one. Because it was sensitive and touching. Buuuuuut, I digress.

So I'm checking out with my pile of sensitive and touching cards and a dozen cans of 'Savory Beef Cuts in Gravy'. My intention was to get $10 cash back to vacuum out my work truck before turning it back in. The new cashier efficiently rang up my stuff under the watchful eye of her trainer. I ran my debit card through and tried to enter cash back. Suddenly, in the middle of my typing, it said, 'Approved', without any cash back. Gaping, I said, "Well. Gees. I wanted $10 cash back...what did I do wrong?" and the trainer with the watchful eyes said, "Well, the least you can get back is $20." I groaned dramatically. "You know, I would have never done this, being a person of strong resolve, but you have forced me into it. I'm going to buy a candy bar so that I can get that cash back, but I am doing so under duress." And lo. The trainer with the watchful eyes also had a quick wit. As I returned with a Snickers bar, she said, drily, "I notice you didn't get your favorite kind, either." To which I retorted, "This is for my dog, being that I am so high minded and full of resolve which means that I would never think of eating this candy bar." She quickly reminded me that dogs were not supposed to have chocolate. I fixed her with a look and said, "Well, really, you're telling me that I have no choice then. I'll have to eat this Snickers on the way home for the good of my dog. Is that what you're saying? Because I will totally do that, because I love my dog." And she said, "Yes. You have no choice." So I ate the candy bar on the way home.

Stinking Walmart.

The end.

8 comments:

WhiteStone said...

Giggle!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kelly said...

Did Truman really say that? Great quote!! ...and yes, I'm an expert on 'turds' since I scoop piles and piles of poop every day.

Glad you ate that Snickers so your dog wouldn't have to.

Caroline said...

Walmart employs idiots - just another example.

Bush Babe said...

HA... hilarious. And you know what... as I type this I look out the office window and Axel is - um - depositing something that should be left to set for at least a week. If you kicked that offering, you'd be knee deep in it!!
:-)
BB

Debby said...

Well, Hallmark says that Harry S. said it. Would a giant faceless corporation LIE?!!! Gees, Kelly!

Mary Paddock said...

LOL. I'm glad you're such a consciencious owner. :)

quid said...

One of your funniest posts ever!!!

quid

PaintedPromise said...

leave it to Walmart...

my dog would have been saved from a Milky Way Midnight! although i probably would have had to freeze it and save it till this dang diet is done... which could be next year {sigh}