Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Getting my Picture Taken

I received a letter asking that I come in to have a picture taken to display for Breast Cancer Awareness month. You all know how much I love having my picture taken. Not.

This is different though, and I will have the picture taken. I will come up with a few words about my experience. Know why? Last year, I found the cancer just before Breast Cancer Awareness Month. I remember walking into the hospital very early in the morning for the surgery, and I remember being greeted by great arcs of pink balloons, and the Survivor's Wall, rows of pictures, their words. I was at a very hard place then. I was afraid. It was all new. It was unreal. I just could not wrap my head around the fact that it was happening to me. Was I going to die? I did not have a clue and I was just sick about it. I hadn't slept much the night before. It all just seemed so big, so completely overwhelming. While Tim was taking care of the registration, I took a minute to wander through these pictures, to read the words, and you know what? It was a very 'real' moment for me. It helped. I recognized faces, and I thought, "Oh, I did not know that she had breast cancer..." and it was encouraging to think of that person as I'd seen them last, lively, active, busy. And two days later, I was back for the medport. I read more of those words, studied more faces. I remember Elaine, the nice nurse telling me that she was sorry to hear that it was cancer, but that she was sure that I had what it took to beat it. During that uncertain time, the words that I read on the Survivor Wall gave me hope. The encouraging words that people struggled to come up with meant a lot to me too. I tucked these things away in my heart, clung to them like a lifeline.

There are a lot of things that I'm not really sure of right this very minute. However, I am sure that if I can encourage one woman who has heard, for the first time, "You have cancer," then I need to do it. It's a debt of honor. I owe it on behalf of every single person that has helped me during this long, long year. Even if it means I have to sit for a stinking picture.

9 comments:

rhubarbwhine said...

How clever a post, to reinforce that what we see of others on the outside does not truly reflect what is happening to them on the inside. You are indeed a wise and wonderful woman, debby. And I admire you greatly.

Mrs. Spit said...

*Stands up and applauds*

WhiteStone said...

No photo of you will be a stinky photo. For one thing, I don't think they make them in "aromas". For another thing, you are absolutely lovely. So look at the camera, think good thoughts and relax. You want this photo to be of good encouragement to the next woman who walks by that wall.

Nana Trish is Living the Dream said...

Debby, you know I hate to have my picture made. I have a picture of a doll where I should have my own picture. You getting yours made for such a worthy cause is wonderful. You always seem to have such a tender heart and want to help people. I'll be thinking about you. trish

steviewren said...

I dislike almost every picture ever taken of me...just knowing someone is making my picture causes me to do weird things with my face. Tell the photographer to snap when you aren't expecting it...maybe it will be better that way. Or maybe it will be the worst ever...WHAT THE HECK DO I KNOW....I make a terrible picture.

Yes, you are doing it for the best reason and you will be an inspiration and comfort to many. I bet you'll even look cute.

Bush Babe said...

How is wish I could take that 'stinking' picture for you... perhaps we could have some fun and make it slightly less on the nose for ya!!

Perhaps you could pretend, that instead of looking into a lense, you are looking at the face of that woman you were when you first visited the cancer centre? Let your journey and understanding show in your face... that would be encouragement in spades!!
Hugs
BB

Lydia said...

Sounds to me like you are making the ultimate sacrifice.... I really appreciate that you are doing something so distateful for you to help others.

I'm praying for the best shot, a new job, (that you love) and a quick and positive outcome of your upcoming scan.

a big hug to you!

jeanie said...

I think in this instance, it is not an image of a woman they are looking for but what you found in all those images last year. Knowledge, community, empowerment - my prayers for a fantastic new job in the place you least expect it.

PaintedPromise said...

"Perhaps you could pretend, that instead of looking into a lense, you are looking at the face of that woman you were when you first visited the cancer centre? Let your journey and understanding show in your face... that would be encouragement in spades!!"

right on BB!!!!!

Deb, i hate my picture taken too. you are not alone! and i am proud of you for doing it!!!!!