Lying in bed tonight, unable to sleep, I thought about Monday and the PET scan. After getting through August one day at a time, after a month of trying to keep myself calm, after these weeks of choking down my concerns day after day after day, finally, at long last, August is nearly done. The only thing standing between me and Monday is Sunday. As I tried to get my aching back and shoulder comfortable, it suddenly occurred to me that I might not be ready to hear what they have to say. That was a new thought. After an entire month of waiting, now the day is nearly here, and I'm dreading it. I gave up and took a sleeping pill.
We human beings are complicated beings.