Last night, I lay in bed just about to doze off. The rain had stopped and there were crickets. I was not 'hot flashing'. It was not yet morning. I was not staggering around exhausted, trying to make my achey joints move. I was relaxed, my bones melting comfortably into the mattress. Tim breathed deeply and evenly beside me. And in the middle of my half awareness, I realized what it was. It was perfection. It was mine, all mine. It wouldn't last, but for that moment, everything was perfect. And I fell asleep.