Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Foolishness

I remember the first day that I walked into the Cancer Center with my friend, Mary. I did not want to go. I procrastinated getting ready, I dragged my feet to the car, and I drove very slowly there. Finally, I stood looking at the building realizing that simply by walking through those doors, I was a cancer patient. As foolish as it sounds, I did not want to go inside. Because I am sensible and responsible, I gave myself a shake, and I walked into that building to face what needed to be faced.

Treatment ended a month ago. I have my first post treatment appointment with the oncologist on Friday. After a month away from the Cancer Center, I dread going back. As foolish as it sounds, I realize that when I walk through those doors, I am, again, a cancer patient.

6 comments:

rhubarbwhine said...

And a survivor. Because you can walk through those doors, you are a survivor.

Lavinia said...

Former cancer patient and may it ever be thus.!

Bush Babe said...

Shirl took the words from my mouth... survivor, gladiator, warrior, whatever. But nothing so submissive as a patient!!
:-)
BB

Barry said...

I'm scheduled for my first chemo next week (although I've had the date postponed four times now for additional tests so I'm not holding my breath); but I know the feeling of not wanting to be labeled as a cancer patient.

Lesley said...

Deb... you are a survivor. Be glad that you are thru with your treatments and are now just doing follow-ups. I was supposed to start the 2nd half of chemo tomorrow but that's not going to happen. There's been 'complications' from the surgery. I'm not healing like I would have pre-chemo. So, needless to say, I filled up with fluid at the surgery site. I had to go in yesterday to have it drained (they drained off 225+cc's of fluid) and put in a new drain. No chemo for me til this heals now. Oh well. I'll keep pluggin along on this journey. Keep your chin up and know you are a SURVIVOR!!! *Hugs*

Debby said...

Barry - oh, the beginning, waiting, one change after another. I do not envy you. It will get better. Once it actually got down to treatment, I was able to take a deep breath and endure, but the ups and downs to get there were NERVE-WRACKING! Good luck.