Cara left today. She'll be living with Dylan in Allentown for the summer. It will be good for them both, and I am glad they get along.
I took a long lunch today, and came home and had lunch with Tim and Cara. After we saw Tim off to work, she and I headed out for a cup of coffee. She was having some doubts about the move last night but today, she seemed much more sure of herself. One of her big concerns was, 'What if you get sick again?' I didn't really know how to respond to that last night. After thinking it over, I had an answer. We sipped on our coffees and talked about this and that. I said, "I want you to listen to something. I do not want you sitting around afraid to go off and do things because I might get sick again. I've already made up my mind that I simply can't allow myself to be overcome with fear and dread. It would be wasting my life. If you do it, it's wasting your life. Neither of us know what's in store, but we both got lives to live, and we need to focus on living. That's what faith is all about."
She fixed me with those green eyes and she asked the question. What she wants is a guarantee that everything's going to be fine, that cancer won't come back. She wants facts and statistics and odds. "Cara," I said. She looked at me with her chin quivering. "Listen to me. At some point, you'll have to deal with the death of your mother. You understand this, right?" She nodded, not looking at me. I have to be careful here. I don't want to lie. She's an adult. Being an adult is hard sometimes. I give her numbers, because she wants them. I give her the facts because she's asking. We sip our coffee and we talk about life. We talk about the important things. I listen while she talks. She listens while I talk. We laugh. We nod. Anybody watching us would have seen a mother and a daughter having coffee together. It was more than that. I watched Cara mature before my very eyes.