Saturday, April 11, 2009

My Friend Mary

My friend Mary is a new friend. She was about three months ahead of me in treatment. She is an invaluable support system, having already been through treatment. She finished chemo at the end of November shortly after I had begun it. She is a tremendous encouragement to me, and she is the first one I call when I have questions.

The tables have turned. Mary found a lump. Three months after her final radation, Mary has cancer again. It is my turn to be the support system. I fumbled around for words. Her voice got shakey a few times. Mine did too. She said that she couldn't do it again, and I told her yes, that she could. By the time I hung up the phone, I was shaken to the very core of my being. I dragged out my files and read my 'onc' report over again, looking for reassurance, looking for differences between our two cancers, looking for signs that this could not happen to me. There were none. It was a sleepless night as I prayed for my friend. By the time Mary called this morning, she was bucking up for the fight of her life. By the time that Mary called this morning, I was bucking up to support my friend.

16 comments:

Kelly said...

I am so sorry to hear this. Life can be SO difficult!

As I said in an earlier comment, take everything one day at a time. One moment at a time, if necessary.

Daria said...

I too met someone during treatment where she was just a couple of months ahead of me with treatment. We are good friends 9 years later. She once again is a great source of support while I go through treatment once again.

I think your support for her is invaluable to both of you.

Just know ... you both can do this.

Mrs. Spit said...

Praying for both of you.

steviewren said...

Wow Debby...what a kick in the gut for both of you. I'm glad you are there for her now. That is the essence of perseverance...you may get knocked down but you keep getting up again. That's why I admire you so much.

As always you are in my prayers.

Mikey said...

Oh damn. I'm so sorry to hear this. Please let Mary know she's in our prayers also. God Bless you for being there for her.

Pam said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your friend, Mary.

You remain in my prayers.

Laura Jane said...

Oh BUGGER!

That blasted cancer rollercoaster! Nothing is ever certain.

Hold tight, the two of you. Sending you both my warmest vibes for courage and healing.

Hang in there.

Karen said...

You will be a blessing to Mary during this difficult time. It's wonderful that you met her and became friends.

I'll be praying for both of you.

Have a blessed Easter.

rhubarbwhine said...

Oh Debby, so sorry to hear this. Sending you so much more than I can put into words.
xxx

Caroline said...

I am sorry to hear about your friend. I have friends with recurrences and it is a tough road to go down but the important things are to never give up hope and always continue to support them.

jeanie said...

Oh Deb - it is amazing what resilience we find, and you will find it to give Mary the support she needs and the support you need within.

Hugs.

Anonymous said...

It is good that you and Mary found each other and support each other. Happy Easter.
DavidM

"It is a sweet thing, friendship, a dear balm,
A happy and auspicious bird of calm..."
- Shelly

quid said...

I think this is the thing that cancer survivors worry about most. You will be a source of real support for her, Debby...

hugs, Quid

Nana Trish is Living the Dream said...

I'm so glad you were there for her Debby. You are a blessing.

PaintedPromise said...

i'm so very sorry! please give Mary a hug for me. and yourself too! hang in there...

Lori said...

Keeping you AND your friend in my thoughts and prayers. My mother has been cancer-free for 19 years now. It's hard to believe it has been 19 years since her mastectomy. You hang in there!