Thursday, April 30, 2009

Exhaustion

I really enjoy working. Working hard. Physically pushing myself until I am tired and sweaty. For no other reason, I suppose, than that I am able to do so. There were times during the winter, when I wondered if I'd ever feel strong again, and each day brings me the satisfied realization that I am strong once more. I enjoy my shower when I get home from work. I could not use my favorite scented soap during radiation. Now that radiation is done, I stand in the shower and revel in the scent of that soap, scrubbing up a rich lather. I enjoy being able to use my regular lotions too, and I slather them on skin that is already beginning to darken in the sun. By the time that I go to bed, I am exhausted and sleep comes quickly. I love those last few moments of consciousness before I drift off to sleep, the tired aches in my legs and my shoulders and my back easing as I relax and stretch, wrapped around my three pillows. And when Tim gets home at midnight, like as not, I will not even hear him, although sometimes I wake up enough to feel his hand rubbing the soft bristles of my new hair, or to feel him kissing my shoulder.

6 comments:

Dennis Pyritz, RN said...

I continue to enjoy your reflections on life and cancer. I just added you to my Cancer Blogs Links Page. Take care , Dennis www.beingcancer.net

Sara Williams said...

You give me hope xxxx

Sara Williams said...

I live in North Wales, UK am 42 & fighting breast cancer. We have similar interests. I have 8 guineapigs, a hamster, 2 dogs & 4 rabbits and I also care for the birds outside! I love reading and rock music. You may be interested in a rock band called The Alarm which is big in America and Wales. The lead singer MIKE PETERS is a cancer fighter/survivor and is an inspiration to follow. He has set up a global rock cancer charity called The Love Hope Strength Foundation, check it out. Also, his music is great cos its all about the positives you need to have to fight this thing

Nana Trish is Living the Dream said...

Deb, you are a great writer and paint such vivid pictures with your words. I am so happy you can now enjoy your perfumed soaps. It's things like that we look forward to. I will be glad when I can work hard again physically and be tired from moving. You rock.

PaintedPromise said...

and i am laughing over the 3 pillows! me too!!!!!

quid said...

This was beautifully written.

quid