Monday, April 20, 2009
All is Well.
I did not realize that I was going to be awake for the removal of the mediport. I was pretty squeamish about that. I don't know why, exactly, but I was dreading that appointment. To make matters worse, it was at the end of the day. They were running late. Everyone was very nice, but that extra hour gave me time to quietly feel plainly sick about the whole thing. That and the fact that it was four and I had not eaten since the previous midnight. For some reason, Tim felt honor bound to be there. This surprised me, since he got sick watching the needle being inserted into my chest for chemo. I tried to make it clear that I understood if he could not. Finally, it was time, and the numbing shots were given. The cutting began, and there was conversation. As usual, the actual event was not nearly as horrible as I'd imagined it would be, although at one point, the wet, slurpy sound coming from my chest made me feel sickish. Tim was holding my hand, and I turned my head to him to say something and noticed that he was very pale. I said, "Um. Tim. Are you okay?" The doctor said something to him, and he did not answer. I said, "Really, he is not normally that color." They made him sit down. He suddenly said, "It is too hot in here," and excused himself. We both survived. We came home and got a load of firewood. Tim said it wasn't so much the cutting that bothered him, or seeing things. It was hearing the play by play commentary. "This is deep," and "We're cutting away a lot of scar tissue," and the like. The incision hurts right now, but that's the extent of it. I've taken some ibuprofen and am headed back to bed. I've got time to make up at work tomorrow.