Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Winning

I have, again, become one with my elliptical trainer. I've got to get physically fit to go back to my job. Is there anything more boring than working out on your own? (Answer: If there is, I haven't had the misfortune of stumbling upon it yet.) I'm plodding through my regimen and I've discovered that although I don't enjoy the actual workout any more than I ever did, there is a new glow of satisfaction upon realizing that I can still do it. It takes more effort than it should, but I can still finish my workout. I am a strong woman.

Amazing.

I've been thinking a lot. I have no pictures of myself from this time. I'm a very self conscious person, and being bald, no eyebrows, no eyelashes, hasn't diminished that at all. However, there is something to be said for having something to commemorate this time, something to confirm these days. The picture would not be attractive, but it would be the truth. The battle is not over yet, but there are small victories to be celebrated. I've confronted a lot of fears, and won. I imagine that I can also confront this one, and beat it too. So, Bush Babe, I'll post a picture.

9 comments:

Mary Paddock said...

Actually I prefer working out alone. My self-consciousness translates to not wanting to have to worry about measuring up to anyone else's expectations.

You are a strong woman.

Bush Babe said...

Oh good on you Deb... I wish I was there to take it for you!!!
:-)
BB

PS Working out on your own is ok if you have a good tv show on in front of you! From what I can remember...

Kelly said...

Hey, it's a part of your life. Nothing to be ashamed of. For years I never wanted my picture taken for anything. I finally got over it and realized that others loved me no matter how I looked.

I prefer working out alone, too. (if you can consider anything physical I do actually working out) It always goes better to music for me.

Pam said...

I'll send you Connor and Sam for a couple of weeks, Debbie. They'll give you a killer workout! :)

steviewren said...

When the pain of my divorce was still fresh, I thought I would give the ex all the pictures of him and the kids(didn't want his picture messing up my albums). But, I discovered that there were no pictures of me and the kids (well, not many). I spent all of those years avoiding the camera because I didn't like the way I looked. I wound up having to keep his picture, since I wasn't about to give away all my pictures. Since then I've gotten a lot less picky about being in a picture. This is me...and I say Cheese!

Debby said...

Kelly - Dylan bought me an new MP3 player for Christmas. I forgot all about it. I can listen to music.

I've often thought about the fact that the kids don't have a good picture of their mom. I really need to get the hell over this photo shy thing. Really.

A Novel Woman said...

Yeah, you need to get over it. I hate photos of myself too, but my kids always say "Mum, that's what you look like. Like our mum."

And I've started taping all my favourite shows and then I watch them while I work out on the treadmill. It's still boring, but the time goes by a leetle faster.

PaintedPromise said...

music is great for working out. or, i used to do a stairstepper, and i read while on it, as i could lean my upper body on the controls and hold my book still... haven't quite figured out how to read on my treadmill though, the book bounces lol

Dave said...

You are right to get fit for work Debbie. We don't realise it until we have a prolonged period off work and want to start back again just how fit we are when working and how unfit we become when not doing so. Keep celebrating small acheivements! - Dave