Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Flipping the Birdbath

Stevie Wren has posted on the sorry condition of her brain. Muse Swings consulted with the misogynist also know as 'the good Dr. West'. Familiar with his practice before his death, I objected to his resurrection, and with the help of scrambled eggs, oregano, a sociopath kitty, and an assorted lot of blog friends (one armed with a babushka) , Dr. West was stuffed into an voluminous Chinese Red Imitation Coach Bag, where he will stay for a few days, nibbling spearmint tic tacs while he thinks about things. Then there was Lavinia who managed to dig up intrigue and a suitcase full of money and a wild tale about stolen things. Why are these things always unearthed when Lavinia is about? Is it because she is such an excellent sleuth? Perhaps, but more likely it is due to the fact that Lavinia tends to walk on the dark side herself, involved with many a shady charactor, up to her armpits in many a nefarious scheme.

Stevie, my dear, if you wander about with these two, your brain will turn to mush. You need neither Dr. West tender ministerings nor Lavinia's madcap chaos, which will result in even more stress. My suggestion to you is to watch 'Shall We Dance' whilst drinking a good wine. Doodle cute little pictures of Richard Gere and Susan Sarandon. When the movie is over, you should be staggering just a little. Go to bed, and sleep soundly. Wake up tomorrow morning, and call in sick at work. Go back to bed, sleep as long as you like. Take a long bubble bath, while listening to your favorite music. Make dinner arrangements, meeting with as many friends as you can gather. to regale each other with ridiculous stories. Laugh until you cry, doodling your friends' charicatures for them on napkins. Go home only when you can laugh no more, when your urge to draw has been completely satisfied, when you have received a hug from all involved, and when (and only when) your wonderful joie de vivre has returned to you.

I will check in tomorrow.

9 comments:

steviewren said...

Just the prescription for me! (I've been wanting an excuse to call in sick) Besides that, Richard Gere could cure anything that ails me. (I wish he would give it a try)

Lavinia said...

Debby, your post proves once again, that you really are a brilliant criminal mastermind. Exhorting your victims to get good night's sleep, while you ostensibly stack yet even more wood, in a pile that is by now so high it can be seen on Google Earth.

Then, when they are all fast asleep, you make your move, just like the Grinch in Whoville.

By dawn, you're looooooonnnnnng gone, prolly to Dr. West's Everglades hideaway. I bet you zoom through the water on your motorboat like nobody's business, leaving splashed and confused tourists in your wake...

Other than that, darling, there is actually some very sound advice here for our friend Stevie. But I *can* think of more interesting things to do with Richard Gere other than just doodling him. Wait...that didn't come out right!!

MuseSwings said...

Ditto what Lavinia said - except for any misspellings and errors in proper usage of the English language.

MuseSwings said...

What was that about Richard Gere?

Lavinia said...

What was that about Richard Gere? Pop over to the Birdbath to see just what!

Debby said...

Lavinia - I will go no where near Dr. West (who the heck left him out of the Chinese Red Imitation Coach Bag anyway?) One thing that you don't know about me is that I lose cookies on a boat, and we are not talking chocolate chips, sweetie!

Muse - never mind about Richard Gere. Lavinia's not doodling him is all.

Stevie, I'm not sure how this got all twisted around, but I notice that it always gets that way when 'you know whos' are around. (You get that I'm talking about Lavinia and Muse, right...I wanted to be sure, since your brain is scrambled).

Lavinia said...

Wow Debby I guess you didn't zip it up tight enough when you stuffed the good doc into the C.R.I.C.B!

steviewren said...

I can barely follow the snappy repartee youse guys toss around. Slow down, spell it out...dumb it down....wait on me please!

Blicky Kitty said...

Oh that's the most awesome advice I've heard for almost any malady! Can I use it for parenting stress too? Maybe I'll just add in a babysitter. :)