Friday, January 2, 2009

Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

SARAH PALIN: Before it got to the other side, I shot the chicken, cleaned and dressed it, and had chicken burgers for lunch.

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!
JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves tocross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either against us or for us. There is no middle ground here.
DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now and will remain against it.
AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken doesn't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed access to the other side of the road.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments,we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken 2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never crash or need to be rebooted.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?


MuseSwings said...

Bwahahahahah! And here I always thought the chicken crossed the road because it was stapled to the armadillo. Boy, was I wrong!

A Novel Woman said...




Debby said...

I personally had been told that the chicken crossed the road to show the possum that it could be done.

steviewren said...

**snickering over here**

Rising Rainbow said...

OOOhhhhhh! This is just too funny!

Hope you have a Happy New Year!

Portia said...

That was a fun read for today, thanks for the laugh!

Mary Paddock said...

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

Yeah, that about sums up Hemingway. LOL!

jeanie said...

Why is it alway about the road? That is a man-made construct unimportant in the minds of chickens!!

Cimba7200 said...

Very clever Debbie. - Dave

Debby said...

Dave (and everyone else), I did not write this. It was an e-mail I received that made me laugh. I should have noted that in the blog. Sorry. It was Debby avoiding a real blog post...

Jeanie, Jeanie, Jeanie. It's actually always about the chicken. He just happened to be crossing the road. :^D

Bush Babe said...

Yeah, but it's about the glint of the late afternoon sunlight on the whiteness of the chicken feathers, as the beams shine down through the tree branches arching overhead, set off by the black bitumen road winding into the distance...

Sorry, where were we??

PS Good one Deb... giggle-worthy!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the laugh Deb - and all you other clever ones. A good way to start (and continue) 2009.

Hope everyone has a good one.. Barb

Anonymous said...

Hah very funny.