Saturday, January 3, 2009

Chemo

Chemo Brain
by Richard Harvey
**
The things I do
In anticipation of
The things that I will do
But I don't end up doing
Because the things I am doing derail
My train of thought
From the direction it was headed
To the direction it went
Where I found me
Looking for the things
That I was doing
When I was preparing to do
What I wanted to do
Before I forgot
What I was doing
When I went to do
What I needed to do
When I found the things I was doing
Brought me around to
The things that I was doing
I remembered I forgot
The thing that I was doing......
What?
******************
This pretty much explains chemo brain. I am fuzzy (pretty ironic choice of words for a bald woman!) and unfocused. Trying to decide what it is that makes me joyful, I discovered that I guess a big joy would be writing...but I can't seem to write coherently right now.
*sigh*
These days are not my finest.
But...
I am halfway done with chemo.

12 comments:

Alison said...

When joy is hard to find, I think whole days are far too intimidating. Fifteen minutes at a time works for me :-)
Hang in there Deb.

Alison said...

PS: Oh look! There goes 15 minutes!!!!
Congratulations.. You made it!!!! What a star :-)

Mikey said...

You're gonna make it! We have faith in you!!!

Anonymous said...

XII

The river is moving.
The blackbird must be flying.

Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird
by Wallace Stevens

http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/15746

warm regards, DavidM

Pencil Writer said...

My drug-induced tongue tangle on Christmas Day is now sounding kinda like the poem above. You continue to be in my prayers. And, though 80% chance for rain was predicted for today, we actually had some sterling moments of sun--no rain. May your days be blessed with like-sunshine when clouds might otherwise threaten.

Bob said...

And yet you still write beautifully and bless so many of us. Half-way through! YEA!!! We're all cheering for you Debby!

jeanie said...

Oh Deb - lots of hugs to you, and if you can't untangle your thoughts through chemo that is okay - just chuck them in a basket where the cats can play with them and find other strands to add.

Bush Babe said...

Congrats on the half-way mark Deb!! Yay... a little joy for this milestone perhaps?? Do you get a half-time whistle?? A cheer from girls in miniskirts (or boys in tight shirts?). Does someone arrive with some cut-up oranges? Can I send you some quarters?

Honestly, I think you are doing amazingly to hit the "publish" button. You know, some people call a jumble of words like you describe as actual "poetry"... maybe you should just start typing and see where you end up?
:-)
BB

Hal Johnson said...

Debby, I admire the heck out of you for continuing to write at all through your chemo ordeal. Heck, just getting the sniffles is enough cause me to decide that it's a non-writing day. I'm glad to know that you're over the hump on your treatments. Thanks for continuing to post through all you've been through, and here's to 2009 being a year of clear sailing.

MuseSwings said...

I love this post! Problem is, my brain works like that all the time, and I can't say it's from chemo. Happy half way!!!
You may have a few extra people slinking around on your blog - I gave you a semi-shout out yesterday for your chicken post.

Anonymous said...

Debby, Just wanted you to know I have been praying for you and really missed your newspaper articles for awhile when you weren't writing them . I was so sorry to read the news of your cancer and have been keeping you in my prayers and will continue to do so, knowing God will give you strength and courage to get through this.I will now start following your blogs now that we have finally got our computer system back up and working.I am alos a very old and dear friend of your special friend Mary Rutsky. Sincerely, Debbie Crocker Lankins

Debby said...

Debbie, of course I know you. I talked to your brother Allen (who Tim knows from High School and the races) this summer. You used to cut my dog's hair. Remember little 'Chap'? We're in the phone book. I'll try to give you a buzz.