Thursday, December 11, 2008

Seeing

Everytime that you go to the Cancer Center for treatment, you get a medical bracelet. Every time that they do a treatment, they check that bracelet, and ask you to verify your information. It is how they make sure, 100% that there are no errors in medication. I watched an elderly woman throw a fit about her bracelet. Refused it. They finally brought it out to her in the waiting room and told her that she had to carry it, at least. It's interesting, the little slices of life that you see played out in the waiting room there. I watched this woman, angry and uncooperative, and I thought, in the great scheme of things, what a stupid thing to make an issue of. I think we need to pick our battles carefully. I'm fighting cancer.
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It amazes me to see the number of people that come into the Cancer Center reeking of cigarettes. I used to smoke. Seeing my dad die of cancer was a powerful motivation to quit. I did. I can't understand how people can get a diagnosis of cancer and not lose the desire to smoke. How can people love themselves so little that they cannot fight to win back their health?
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It's a real mixed bag of people in the Cancer Center. You see very sick people with a genuine joy about them. You see people seething with rage. You see people sitting docile. You see people that do not love themselves. You see people still dealing with the shock of the diagnosis. You see people who have walked this path several times already. You see people who have realized the importance of love, and living in the minute.
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I wonder what they see when they look at me.

8 comments:

nanatrish said...

I would imagine they see a beautiful woman with a sweet spirit. You are a blessing. I continue to pray for you.

PaintedPromise said...

if they have any eyes at all, they see one very amazing woman who is a real inspiration to us all :)

M+B said...

I think they see a very brave woman with fire in her belly, ready to fight the cancer full on!

jeanie said...

I know what I see!!! And any time you do not feel that, remember how many of us are willing to give you a bit more because you make life joyful for us and more appreciative - even before this diagnosis you did that for us, girl.

Reddunappy said...

I am sure they see someone else sharing the same uncertain road. People should go visit these waiting rooms, I think. And bring fresh magazines! I dont know how many magazines I reread in the waiting room, I started bringing some from home to leave. The angry lady, I can see some of what she may be feeling, the bracelet is probably one thing that she could control on this rollercoaster ride........
You hang in there and keep that wonderful attitude you seem to have, I know its hard and dispite family and friends you still feel so alone.

Alison said...

I see a woman doing one heck of a good job of playing the cards she's been dealt. And I see the others at the table shaking in their boots, because they know a champion when they see one.
Alxx

PS... When people look at me, I wonder if I have my skirt tucked into my undies. Maybe I need to get out more?

Scotty said...

I'd tell ya, but I don't want to embarrass you, or give Tim cause to come looking for me.

*smile*

Cimba7200 said...

Debbie, does it matter what they think? I don't think so. You are giving us the inside juice on what its like to have cancer and we appreciate that, thanks. You know best who you are. Keep those thoughts. - Dave