Wednesday, November 12, 2008


Today, I'm not home. Today is the day of my first chemo. I've tried to read up on it, but you can't, not really. Everyone responds differently, they tell me. From what I can tell, the first half is the roughest. I've been trying to get my emotional self together to deal with whatever needs dealing with, but it's hard to wrap your head around what you do not know.
Yesterday, I was scrubbing down walls at the new house. The radio was blaring, because hard work is easier when the music is loud. Every fool knows that. Rascal Flatts sang 'Stand'. I'd heard it before, of course, but this time the words were my words.
"Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you're made of
You might bend, till you break
Cause its all you can take
On your knees you look up
Decide you've had enough
You get mad you get strong
Wipe your hands
shake it off
Then you stand,
Then you stand"
And really, that is all there is to it. This may be tough stuff, but I will be tougher.
Have to be.
No matter what.
And when it is said, and done, like any person who's been through hard times, I will learn great lessons about the stuff that I'm made of.
When it's said and done, I will stand.
Wiser, I will continue on.
I'll be back when I can. Until then, talk quietly amongst yourselves.


Anonymous said...

A question forms after the wonder
Clouds follow where the sun has warmed

An answer comes after you've questioned
Rain falls where clouds have formed

The blessing comes after the trial
The rainbow comes after the storm

Scotty said...

Hang in there, Deb; I hope the chemo isn't too unkind to you.

Take your time getting back - all your virtual internet buddies will still be here when you do.


RedWifey said...

Sending love and comfort today.

Redlefty said...

Go get 'em.

Fastfingers said...

Debs, hope I'm not too late - good luck with the chemo. And with regards to the wig you wrote about the other day (which I didn't have time to comment on because of WORK, shame on me), just remember how utterly fabulous Sigourney Weaver looked when she shaved her head. And how about that Sinead O'Connor, eh?

Thinking of you, girl.

Pencil Writer said...

Love rubarbwhine's comment. God's watching, arms outstretched to hold you up. Enjoy that hug when it's most needed. He's always standing next to you--to help you stand, even when, or maybe especially when, you (or any of us) are on your knees.

Love and hugs.

Mikey said...

Be strong and do your best to cope. It's going to be hard. If you need anything, we are all here for you

jeanie said...

Hey Deb - we had a toast in your honour last night.

I am sure that this will shake things up a bit - I mean, it is used to kill something that could kill you - but you have so many friends there and all over the world doing their bit to send you strength.

I hope your strentgth and our strength all helps the chemo to get you to the other side of this battle.

Love you. Hugs!!!

Don said...

You are in my thoughts. I appreciate your comments on my blog.

Stuart Peel said...

Best of luck. I´m thinking of you.

steviewren said...

A big virtual hug is being sent your way!

Bush Babe said...

Hugs hugs hugs...
Take your mind to Granite Glen or Paradise whenever it gets tough... we will have distractions and smiles aplenty for you. You are never far from our thoughts!
More hugs...

Nana Trish is Living the Dream said...

Know that you are definitely not alone. May God comfort you and show His love constantly. There's lots of us that are standing with you. Even though we are far away there is no distance with prayers.

PaintedPromise said...

yup. Stand. you can do it. i know you can. sometimes it will seem hard. but you have what it takes!!

Bob said...

God is too wise to be mistaken,
God is too god to be unkind.
So when you don't understand,
When you can't see His plan,
When you can't trace His hand,
Trust His Heart.

Love and Prayers . . . .