Sunday, October 19, 2008

Sinking In

This weekend has been a 'sinking in' time. All the the things of the past three weeks are sinking in. It is sinking in to my husband that he needs to be different, and to his credit, I think it is sinking in. He understands that what remains is for him to begin putting this new thinking into action.
Me? Things have been sinking in for me, as well. I spent Friday in sort of a relieved fog, indulging my secret passion for Mr. Bean, and getting the ironing done. For the nth time, I wondered why I love jeans and a crisp ironed shirt, because I sure do hate to iron. But, Mr. Bean made it better. It felt good to laugh, and to laugh hard. As three weeks of tightly coiled tension begins to unwind and slither off, this is what has sunk in.
I had cancer.
I don't anymore.
The most dangerous part of the battle was done and over before I even knew I was fighting. All I have to do is make sure that he doesn't come back. Chemo. Radiation. Estrogen suppression therapy.
All I have to do is endure.
I can do that.


Scotty said...

Mr Bean?

Ya learn something new every day.


PS. Ever considered endurance running?


Anonymous said...

Hi Deb,
One of the funniest things I’ve ever seen is a scene where Mr. Bean is preparing dinner for himself and his girlfriend and he ends up with his head stuck inside the turkey.
Warm regards,

“My support group taught me how beneficial it is to be able to share experiences with other people who understand exactly how catastrophic it is to lose your life, while still being alive. I learned that surviving survival is not simply a matter of 'getting on with one's life'. There is a grieving period that must be acknowledged and worked through. Being diagnosed with cancer is a legitimate trauma in anyone's life and most, if not all, cancer patients need somewhere to process what this means to them”.
Surviving survival: Life after breast cancer by Jane Gillespie.

steve said...

well done I was thinking of you,
do what I do if I wake up it's a bonus.

steviewren said...

Debby, you have so much going for you, especially your indomitable sense of humor.

Your love of fun and laughter throughout hardship is a lesson for all of us. I've taken note.

Redlefty said...

Estrogen suppression therapy?

All you need is a big steak, a Chuck Norris movie marathon, a fun catalog and a complete inability to ask for help.

It's what we fall back on to keep the T flowing.

Debby said...

Flip! Redlefty, we do not need any more testosterone flowing in this house. It's already gotten Tim in to more trouble than he wanted lately. I'll allow the estrogen to be suppressed, but by golly, I don't want the testosterone flowing.

Stevie - my good humor has saved many a child's rear end, and in the past three weeks, it has saved Tim's rear a half a dozen times. I figuring that is will save my own, as well.

Steve - checked, and yep, I woke up this morning. Bonus!

David - Mr. Bean has but to raise an eye brow on his remarkably rubber face and I fall all over the place laughing. What I love is that although he scarcely says a word, you know exactly what he is thinking. He really is a genius.

Scotty - Endurance running? One word: No.

MuseSwings said...

Debby! Mr. Bean is a hoot. I gave a set of Mr. Bean Pez dispensers to my son for Christmas last year. He's a fan too. I love the scene of Mr. Bean trying unsuccessfully to stay awake in church. Mr. Bean appears as a brand new priest in Four Weddings and a Funeral.
Things are sinking in - no wonder -you were on fast drive for about a month there! Still lots to endure but its "endurable" and we're with you!
The Mister told a friend I had a very low pain tolerance - he was speaking of me being in labor with my son. I didn't even kill him.

Debby said...

He's truly blessed among men.

I had entered my second hour of pushing. I was huffing away, and my ex was trying to talk to me. My focus was elsewhere. He began to smack me on my cheek. I tried to tell him not to do that, but didn't have the energy to talk. Probably the fourth or fifth time, I slapped him back. Took a lot less effort.

Debby said...

PS So, Cynthia...where does your son keep these things?

No particular reason for asking.

*hums quietly, while scanning sky innocently*

(Lavinia can swipe his Pez dispensers for me the next time she's out hunting for unmaxed credit cards. She's probably forgotten I tripped her while eating ice cream with Blicky Kitty.)

Lavinia said...

No Debby I haven't forgotten. And if I did, the pain in my shin would nicely remind me. I am not interested in Pez dispensers as my doctor has advised no sugar and no violent exercise. So tennis is out.

I think old Lucille Ball episodes are prescribed as therapy for people with illness. Or just glum moods, actually.

Everybody loves Lucy!

Debby said...


You don't eat the Cancy from the Pez bring them back to me, because they are Mr. Bean dispensers.

Lavinia, as evil minions go, you suck. Just saying.

*rolls eyes in disgust*

MuseSwings said...

That's a relief, knowing that Lavinia has no interest in Pez dispensers, but since you do and you're looking all so innocent and stuff I've decided it best not to share the exact location. And just to let you know, even though Jason's apt comples doesn't allow pets, Jason has a REALLY big dog. Yeah - that's right. Really big dog. Yup.

Debby said...

My dog's bigger than his dog, my dog's bigger than hiiiiiiiis....

Okay, Muse, both you and Lavinia are on my list now. And honey? we ain't talking bucket list here.

Lavinia said...

Oooooh, I'm shaking in my little space boots....