Tuesday, October 21, 2008

No Answers

You know, I got up today thinking, "Well, today I'll have answers. Today, I'll know what's going on. Today, I'll know about chemo, and what comes next, and...."
Today they've decided to do more tests. There's that other lump on the other breast. The PET/CT scan shows some inconclusive spots on my upper spine. Biopsy, MRI. Back on November 7th. Answers on November 7th. They'll know what they're going to do on November 7th.
It was Tom Petty who sang "the waiting is the hardest part..."
No shit.
I really try hard to keep the faith. Today it got a little harder.
I'm ashamed of that, but its the truth.


Portia said...

Tom Petty also wrote:

"I won't back down - you can stand me up at the gates of hell and I won't back down."

"I'll stand my ground - won't be turned around and I'll keep this world from dragging me down and I'll stand my ground."

How about a little Bob Seger "Against the Wind" or "Like a Rock"?

Sorry to hear about your inconclusive news.

MuseSwings said...

Sorry, Debby, to hear about your newest waiting game! You don't ever have to appologize for not keeping the "faith" since, by that, we usually mean being brave and upbeat and all of those things it's so easy to be when everything is going well. You have every right to have a down day and not feel brave and up beat. Wallow in it! It's normal and okay.

Bush Babe said...

I'm gonna totally be out of line here... if it was me, I'd be doing something to take my mind elsewhere. How about a drive somewhere special, dinner out, movies, getting a pampering at a salon of some sort ... starting to write a book even??


PaintedPromise said...

wait a minute, WHAT other lump? did i miss soemthing? i thought it was the new medport?????

oh dear. well, really, no worries Deb, because you are in my prayers daily and i can only imagine how many other people... God IS good...

Debby said...

No. There was another lump found in the other breast. Surgeon said it was nothing to worry about, cancer specialist thinks that we should make sure. Also has questions about a shadowing on the spine. MRI. Bone scan. Another biopsy. Another waiting period. I'm not patient. It's like a roller coaster. The last dip was a stomach turner.

steviewren said...

Debby, it's time to put Mr. Bean back in the DVD player. Maybe you could watch him non-stop until the 7th, how about that?

Just do whatever it takes to stop thinking until then.

Lavinia said...

Debby, I'm so sorry to hear of your latest waiting game. I hope and pray that one day this will all be behind you, and we must all have faith that this day will come sooner rather than later....but it will come. I'm no doctor but these spots near the spine sound like absolutely nothing. There's a higher power in charge here, He is the ultimate mystery.

You sound like you are in very good hands, these doctors are on the ball and very thorough. I send you healing prayers and hopeful wishes tonight, dear Debby.