Thursday, October 16, 2008

Ack.

My dad had a saying. "Anyone can quit smoking. It takes a real man to die of lung cancer." My dad was a real man. He was diagnosed, and he went quickly. It seemed like his fight was over before he even stepped out of the corner. He was the strongest willed, most stubborn SOB you'd ever want to meet. He died 8 years ago on Thanksgiving Day.
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Today, at 4, I've got an appointment with the surgeon. Cancer is a scary word. Words like 'inoperable' or 'mestasticized' or 'terminal' could make it even scarier. It's going to be a long day, but at the end of it, I will know.
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For all of my practical nature, I stand here, feeling like a deer must feel when she stares, frozen, into oncoming headlights.
Ack.

11 comments:

steviewren said...

It will be a long freaking day, but you seem like the kind of person who will feel better once you know what you're up against.

Portia said...

I'm thinking about and praying for you today. Hoping the news doesn't include any of those words.

Bush Babe (of Granite Glen) said...

I have a sunset for you, if you could use one?? They are magic, you know? All I can offer is my sunset... and a hug.
:-)
BB

Algernon said...

Ack indeed! Deep, relaxing breaths and good luck to you!

Lavinia said...

A long day indeed, but at the end of it you will know what you are up against. Best of luck and prayers to you....

M+B said...

Hoping you don't hear any words scarier than cancer today. Lots of positive thoughts and vibes headed your way from me today

Eternal Sunshine said...

Praying for you today.

Portia said...

If you need a laugh and have a moment to watch youtube, go there and type in "johnny carson michael landon rabbit" It is so funny and it reminded me of your cat story. If I knew how to create a link I'd do that. It's also great to see Michael Landon again. It's from 1989.

Stevyn Colgan said...

Debby - Hanging on tenterhooks here. Fingers, eyes, and toes crossed and anything else that can be crushed, bent or folded without making my eyes water. Personally, I can't imagine anything getting the better of you.

Bug lady kill! Bug lady smash!

PaintedPromise said...

you are in my heart today Debby!

jeanie said...

Deb - been thinking of you all morning thus far and hope that scary words weren't uttered.