Tuesday, September 30, 2008

I'm not just whistling Dixie, here...

Yesterday, I drove home from my appointment, in just a wee bit of shock I think. I was hoping to hear words like 'it's nothing', and come home and feel a little foolish, but very relieved. When the radiologist came in to tell me what he thought, he asked if I had any questions. "Not right this minute," I said, "but can you give me your phone number, because I can guarandamntee you that I'll have a number of them about midnight or so." He burst out laughing and said, "That is an easy one. The answer is no." I responded with, "Now, surely the nice mammogram lady told you about my meltdown in the Lowe's parking lot just last night?" The nice mammogram lady told him that 'the girls' had a new name for him, and it was 'insensitive ass'. He looked confused, but we explained, and we all laughed, as he cheerfully pled 'guilty'. I leaned in to tell her that if she needed any epithets, I was the girl to call, because I was creative that way. (How strange to be laughing and joking when I felt as if the bottom was dropping out of my world.)
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I walked out of the hospital, got into my little car and drove home in the rain. I knew that my own physician would be calling. I couldn't bear to go back to work. Since I don't get cell phone service back in the woods, I called their office to let them know to call me at our home phone. To get sympathetic reassurances from the receptionist was almost more than I could stand. We are great laughers and I don't think we've said a serious word to one another in all the years I've gone to this practice. Gina called. The surgeon called. Gina called again. The phone got quiet.
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Tim said, "Do you want to watch a movie? Why don't you come and sit down? We'll watch a little TV." He picked up the remote, and Oprah's voice came into our living room. She announced that 'today (x-number) of women would learn that they had breast cancer.'
*gasp*
Later, while I was reading about biopsies, the phone rang again. It was the 'Breast Cancer Relief Fund', asking for a donation.
*gasp again*
And even though I don't consider myself a superstitious person, I cannot shake this sense that events in my own life are being foreshadowed. October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month.
Dear God.
I am aware.
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It was time to call in the big guns. I did the only reasonable thing. I got a bottle of wine, and I got a wine glass. I poured myself a tall glass, and then I sat down to call my friend, my stalwart, hilarious friend Dixie in Philadelphia. I drink my wine, and we alternate between laughing and weeping, just a little, because after all, I know nothing for sure. But Dixie hears me say the words out loud for the first time. "Dix," I say, "I've just got this growing certainty in my heart. I think that I'm going to hear that I have cancer." Dixie says softly, right back, "Maybe. Maybe you're right, but there are all kinds of success stories. Most people survive it." And then she is laughing again. Her priest's wife went for her biopsy today. And another woman from their church just finished chemo. She considers her church experts in praying about this particular matter. She will get my ta-tas to the prayer chain. And I'm laughing too. I'm a real lightweight when it comes to drinking, but I pour myself a second glass of wine, and I laugh with my friend.

17 comments:

Scotty said...

Whether it was uncanny coincidence or divine intervention is anyone's guess but I'm glad to hear that you could relax with a glass (or two) of wine and a laugh with a friend.

:-)

Stevyn Colgan said...

Still waiting for that email and address ... and keep that pecker up. Glad to see the humour is still there in your always excellent writing. x

Debby said...

Er. Stevyn. I don't think I'm going to be able to manage that one. For what I am hoping are obvious reasons...

Anonymous said...

Er. Stevyn. I don't think I'm going to be able to manage that one. For what I am hoping are obvious reasons...

:) LOL.

DavidM
you're still in my thoughts and prayers.

Bush Babe (of Granite Glen) said...

I'm currently having a chardonnay with you (from across the globe)... with you all the way, babe! I hope it helps!
Hugs
BB

Debby said...

All of you - get your glasses. I've got a very nice bottle of white zinfandel. BB will probably share her chardonnay if we're polite (this means you Stevyn!) Cheers, everyone!

Lavinia said...

((((HUGS))))

Redlefty said...

I've never liked the taste of wine... if only I could skip straight to the relaxed and laughing part!

You've got a good hubby and good friends!

Debby said...

Redlefty, skip the wine, skip the glass, knock back a beer straight from the bottle, and skip straight to the relaxing and laughing.

Mikey said...

I'll be having some whiskey, straight. Thank you.
We are damn sure praying for you, and all the others out there. Reminders of breast cancer seem to be everywhere. I hope you are going to be ok, and I want you to know we are all here for you. Always.

jeanie said...

Ah so that is why my merlot tasted so good last night - I was sharing it with friends!!

Your boobs are in my prayers, too, darl.

Debby said...

Jeanie's got merlot. Mikey's got whiskey. Redlefty's bringing beer. BB's got the chardonnay. Good. 'Cause I just finished off the zinfandel. Sorry.

Debby said...

Good news, good news. Tim bought me another bottle and chocolate. Goodness. He's a lovely fellow. I may not need anaethesia. (Just joking...)

PaintedPromise said...

"Not right this minute," I said, "but can you give me your phone number, because I can guarandamntee you that I'll have a number of them about midnight or so."

LOVE it! you go girl!!!

steviewren said...

It's good you have friends you can laugh and cry and drink with. Praying still. Here's to you!

MuseSwings said...

I've brought enough champagne from Willow's Gala to keep all of your other commenters plus you and I in gay spirits into the wee hours. So kick off your dancing shoes and get comfy and lets get down to business! Business being 3 sheets to the wind!
Cynthia

Debby said...

Sorry that I missed you, Muse Swings, but by that point, I was already sound asleep in my own bed, having previously fallen sound asleep on my own couch. I'm pretty lively party entertainment to be sure.