Friday, September 19, 2008

Testosterone

Tim will hear an engine rev, and he gets a goofy grin on his face. He always says, "Listen to those horses bark,' and I know he is thinking wistfully of his glory years, and the Camaro he keeps meaning to do something with. I don't understand the link between testosterone and cars, but I reap the benefits of his testosterone, so I surely don't want to complain about it.
Anyways, here's one man's story of testosterone.
"What builds one person's sense of self worth may mean nothing to another. For example, I am male. Getting my hair done or buying a cute new pair of shoes is a complete zero. Nada. Nothing. But having a fast car? Ha! That is pure testosterone! Now, I have been driving around in an old beat-up pickup truck that I bought new about the end of the Crimean War. The radio doesn't work, but it doesn't need to. I couldn't hear it above the rattles. Sometimes I drive my wife's car. It's a recent model family sedan. Read that: boring. But I have had an old VW Vanagon in the driveway for several years that needed a new engine. Last month I got it fixed, and now that is what I drive. Compared to the truck, this van is hot stuff. It's 5,200 pounds being pushed around by a 90-horsepower four-banger, but everything in life is relative. Finally, I'm out looking for trouble. Wanna race?There is no point in challenging the Rice Rockets. Those guys don't play golf. They don't know the concept of handicap. Besides, it has been years since I've seen thefront end of a Honda Civic. No, I was after bigger fish. Like UPS trucks. Sure enough, I found myself sitting at a stop light next to Big Brown. I gunned the engine. He was game. Then the light turned.The race was on! I had him off the line, but he was gaining on me. The VW was screaming through the gears as we were hurtling down the road. Neck and neck! What a race! It was an adrenaline rush like no other. Just as he was about to pull ahead, the UPS driver chickened out. We had hit 40 miles per hour in less than a mile and he didn't have the guts for it. Me and my van had beat somebody! I'm feeling so charged! This is great! I have to do this again. So, who's next? I'm thinking the city bus."

5 comments:

Stuart Peel said...

Love that. But then I'm a petrolhead too. How cool is it that he's out prowling around, looking to take on buses in drag races !! What a guy.

Scotty said...

I can relate to that; the only problem is that the Hiroshima Screamer that I'm currently driving wouldn't pull the skin off a rice pudding let alone allow me to beat someone at the lights.

:-)

Pencil Writer said...

I have to laugh! It's all so relative! Keep smilin', Deb. Testosterone--what's that saying? Can't live with it/can't live without it? But it can be real amusing--when it's not agravating the snot out of you. ;-}

Debby said...

Just to be really clear, this is NOT Tim's testosterone talking. He needs something just a wee bit spunkier than a Volkswagon. This was an e-mail I received and passed along.

jeanie said...

lol - so that is what the hoons are doing as they upset my peace dragging past my home with children playing outside.

Of course.

lol - I had a friend who was an MG enthusiast. He took great pride in the duco and the engine.

We went to his father's old house to clean up when his father died, and he was doing the "sign" to all other MGs going past.

He turned bright red when I reminded him he was in a ute!