Saturday, September 13, 2008


Here's an FYI for the men out there: If you and your beloved are working on a house together, and your beloved, to surprise you, powerwashes the garage while you are making a trip to Lowe's to pick up yet another thing that you didn't know you needed until you saw that it was on clearance and upon your return, you see your wife standing in front of a half completed garage, paint peelings everywhere, even heavily coating the person of your dear wife because she is standing in the rain, dripping wet, trying to figure out why the stinking powerwasher you bought on e-bay to save a few bucks has stopped running halfway through the garage cleaning process, you should at once, join your voice with hers to bewail the fact that the powerwasher is a piece of crap.
Even if it's not.
Even if later you discover there is a trick to it.
The most important FYI here, is that you should not begin bitching at your beloved in the driveway, commenting on the obvious stuff like the mess, the half completed job, etc., because even the most patient of beloveds have their limits. You might find yourself on the receiving end of another kind of blast as she explains, at full volume, in the middle of the aforementioned driveway 'that she is not psychic and therefore had no inkling that the powerwasher planned to take a break in the middle of the damn job, and why don't you get off her case anyways, because she's not incompetant, it's the flipping powerwasher, and anyone with two eyes in their head could see that.' Or words to that effect.
One last FYI: on a quiet Saturday morning, events like this amuse the neighbors to no end.


Gary Wood said...

Its refreshing to know that there are other couples that behave like my wife and I.

jeanie said...

I am sorry to giggle here, Deb, but I have been in your boots and know there are some lessons for various loved ones to take away!!!

My beloved learned a very important lesson in low blood sugar levels this morning.

Mary Paddock said...

FYI: Men--If you fail to do all the afore mentioned, the next best thing is an apology and the making of amends (which can be expensive, but not necessarily). Your Beloved accepts all forms of exchange, including Visa, chocolate, and flowers.

Hang in there Deb! :)

Debby said...

Jeanie and Mary - Tim's very quick. He apologized in the middle of the blast. I was cold and wet and covered in paint so I felt sorry for myself a little longer, at top volume. And then we moved a bathtub in, and hung some cupboards in the kitchen. By the time I was writing this, it was pretty funny. At the time, not so much. Sad part is that next time, he won't learn one thing from this experience, which, as I explain, puts him one rung lower on the learning ladder than say, the dog, who's goal in life seems to be not to make his beloved (me, again) mad at him.

Gary: Um. Do you know anyone out there who's not like us? Just curious. I haven't met any...

Pencil Writer said...

Smiles. It is amazing how we can shovel so much "stuff" at those we love. They don't necessarily care for it, so do take is easily, but then life goes on and we go forward--forgetting it just may happen again at some far-distant point in time. Smiles. Again.

Lavinia said...

Oh my. Blame it on the rain! (that is if there was any...).

Mechanical devices do not always behave as we would wish. When they conk out mid-job...that's the worst.

Hope you kissed and made up!

Scotty said...

Cue Scotty's vision of how this scene might have worked better...

Upon his return he noticed his wife looking wet and dishevelled and unhappy. He knew she'd be feeling miserable but he loved days like these when she was helping fix up their home together.

He picks a few flowers from the garden and walks over to her and gazes into her eyes.

"I love you, girl, and I wonder if you realise how incredibly sexy you look in those wet clothes right now; I wanna rip them off you but I don't want to provide the neighbours with free entertainment so how about I light a few candles and fill the tub with some hot, scented suds, and see if I can still raise goosebumps of a different kind?"

He winks and smiles in that deliciously sexy way of his and walks into the house, humming.

She stands there, mouth open, with a rough posie of flowers in her hand; she wasn't expecting that.


steviewren said...

Does Tim know the gem he has in you? How many women work their butt off at a full time job and then go to another one before they even go home. You've got my vote sista!