Thursday, August 28, 2008

Groceries, Part II

On yesterday's post, one comment said "Give me a toddler going through my purse and chomping on my favorite tube of lipstick again . . ." I stopped to ponder that for, like, two seconds. Unlike Pencil Writer, I don't miss shopping with toddlers in the grocery store.
I remember Dylan. Curious and always thinking. And he would ask the most terrible questions at absolutely the wrong time. One of his favorite places to think up questions was in the store. I fielded questions like "I been thinking, how's that baby going to get out of your tummy anyways? You don't got doors." I ignored that question at first. He assumed I didn't hear him, so he asked it louder. He had a pretty loud voice anyways. By the time he was done, I was trying to shush him by telling him we'd talk about it in the car, and he was bellowing "But why do we have to wait to get to the car?!!!! I wanna know right now!!!!!" And it felt like the whole store was staring and snickering. A few months later, I was pushing the cart, his baby sister asleep in the seat, and Dylan riding on the back. I picked up a box of prophylactics and tossed them into the cart. Dylan reached into the cart, grabbed the box and loudly said, "What are these for, mommy?" Being a mother who learns from past mortifications, I quietly said, "They're so we don't have more babies at our house." He said, "Oh." in a matter of fact way, and put the box back in the cart. I quietly patted myself on the back for handling this properly. Until we got to the checkout line. Dylan was helping me put the stuff on the conveyor. He grabs the prophylactics and yells, "You know what? I'm GLAD we're not having more babies at our house, cause I don't want to share my room with NOBODY!" All this while waving the box over his head. It wasn't just the people behind me that were laughing. It was the folks in adjacent lines, cashiers, baggers, all of them.
PW? Yeah. I don't miss shopping with toddlers at all.


BB said...

THat was too funny!!! Just today as I whizzed around our grocery store at our little local town, after dropping Dash to the school bus and TLW to Kindy, I stopped briefly to suck in the ON MY OWN-ness. Just me, the shopping trolley, and some aisles. Fabulous! I adore my kids - and they do try to be good most of the time... but sometimes it can seem a bit like an Olympic event, getting to that checkout with the minimum whinge-and-subsequent-chocolate-capitulation. Sometimes I get the gold, sometimes I'm just an also-ran!!!

Pencil Writer said...

Now, Debby, in all fairness--and I did laugh out loud. I'm glad it wasn't me in THAT check out line that day! Give me a lipstick chomper any day over that deal!

It was a trial that hundred years ago with three or four kids going shopping with me . . . I just--in retrospect--probably because I now have grandchildren . . . miss the time that they were young a far more innocent than they are today. Go read Amy's latest post on and see what I mean.

Taking toddlers to the grocery store required olympic proportions (see Bush Babe's comments above) of vigilance, speed, great dexterity, stores of patience and refereeing skills--all of which I lacked.

I just like the memories AND that I'm beyond that stage. Now, when I go grocery shopping with my daughter and her little ones, I laugh and chortle and throughly enjoy the experience. It's a perspective thing.

Thanks for thinking of me! Oh. I had two out of four lipstick chompers. One of them today says they still remember that that lipstick tasted really good!

Eternal Sunshine said...

Too funny! I had a cousin who yanked down her momma's blouse and screamed "THESE ARE MY MOMMY'S BOOBIES!!!" at the top of her lungs.

I hate taking the kids grocery shopping, but what are ya gonna do?

I've given you an award, please come by to check it out!!

Mary O. Paddock said...

I was really strict about good manners (my Southern upbringing showing) so good behavior was rarely an issue with the boys in the store. But I had to be especially clear about not "helping mommy shop". One time (and only one time) we got home with two cans of oysters because my second born saw it next to the tuna I'd just taken two cans of and he thought I probably needed that too. I remember being puzzled about why my figures were so far off. I'm just glad we didn't stop in the sea food section, it might have been caviar. The next time we shopped, he rode in the cart to help him remember the rules.

Last week, I took my husband and my two older boys shopping with me. When we got home I discovered four boxes of pre-sweetened cereal in the groceries after we got home (I almost never buy cold cereal, much less pre-sweetened as it's not economical in this house). Both the boys quickly pointed at their sheepish looking dad. I informed him that the next time we shop he'll have to ride in the cart if he can't behave himself. Frighteningly, I think he liked the idea.

Scotty said...

I put my now oldest boy into the frozen veggie section when he was about two and a half - it was the only way I could think of at the time to 'cool off' his terrible two's temper tantrum.


He did stop screaming rather quickly...


jeanie said...

Oh that is so funny, Deb.

The worst my daughter ever did was when she was 5 and we just grabbing a few things at the supermarket.

It was a long queue in the express lane. Two guys were in front of us and she looked at their basket and said (by way of conversation) "That man has a big salami".

Well, it certainly was an icebreaker and that express lane moved v-e-r-y slowly!!

Mikey said...

Lol, aren't they precious? tooo funny!!