Saturday, August 23, 2008

Cara Goes to College

We dropped Cara off at college yesterday. Although I am the kind of mom who watches her children grow, taking pride in their confidence, feeling like a success when I see the kids competently meeting the challenges in their own lives, still, it was hard to get in the car and leave her behind. We delayed the departure as much as possible. After all, we had to trouble shoot the little refrigerator, which started hesitantly, but was fine after our initial astonishment. We had to assemble the magenta pole lamp with attached reading lamp. Things to be packed up, admonitions to be given. Of course, we had to have supper together. And then the inevitable Walmart expedition to pick up the things that we didn't know we needed. I snuck a card into the basket. We love funny cards in this family. The one I picked said, "Now that you're gone, I have no one to talk to but myself." Inside it read, "I find that I am intelligent and have a lot to add to the conversation, but I still miss you anyways." I hid it in her room for her to find later. One last trip to her dorm room. I cautioned her to be careful and sensible, and she told me that she would never ever leave her dorm room because she would be studying all the time.
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And then it was done, and we were in the car, headed home with her friend Sarah in the back, leaving Cara at Clarion. Sarah leaves for Mercyhurst next Friday. They've been inseparable since the second grade. It seems impossible that they're grown up, and although I'm grateful for Cara's confidence and her competence, I bawled my mascara off anyways.
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We're home now, and the house is so quiet, I am feeling like I could cry again.

7 comments:

Alison said...

Oh Debby - I am crying with you.
(And I just asked my girls to stay little for as long as they possibly can, or else when I grow up, I'm going to go to college with them. Ha.)

Bush Babe (of Granite Glen) said...

Oh, big hugs Deb!!!
Good luck Cara...
BB

steviewren said...

I'm sending a big hug over to you cause that's all I know to do.

Debby said...

She was ready. It was time. I knew that it was coming. It would be even worse if she were totally unable to stand alone. I know that I'll learn to deal with it. I know that every mother gives birth to a child with an idea that the child will grow up and have a live of his or her own. I need to suck it up and get over myself. And it is better today.

*sniffle*

Well. We're working on it.

Side note: In bed last night, I was laying there thinking. My husband, always attuned to my moods like he is says, "What's your problem today, anyways?" Man. It surely sucked to be Tim last night.

Lavinia said...

Oh Debby, I sympathize. A mother's heart....who can know its depths and what it holds, except for another mother? I am not at that point yet, still a couple of years to go till college, and there are a number in our city so I'm just hoping that she chooses to stay and study here. Is that selfish of me? Probably! I know that many kids dont' have that choice. To attend college means leaving home. I hope you find the comfort and consolation to feel better about baby leaving the nest...

jeanie said...

Oooh - I can feel your anguish - no matter how proud she will make you, its your little girl a long way away... Hugs.

PaintedPromise said...

i have done this once. i am about to do it again in December. my heart goes out to you...