Sunday, August 31, 2008
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Friday, August 29, 2008
Thursday, August 28, 2008
PW? Yeah. I don't miss shopping with toddlers at all.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Monday, August 25, 2008
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Friday, August 22, 2008
My uncle once: served under George Patton, and hated him.
Never in my life: have I felt that I was smart, even though people tell me that I am.
When I was five: I came home to find my mother crying while ironing and watching President Kennedy's funeral procession.
High School was: a place that I did not fit.
I will never forget: when Tim told me that he was supposed to be 'my rock.'
Once I met: Carol Burnett
There's this girl I know: who is so afraid to take a stand, to offer an opinion, to get involved in the most minor controversy, that she almost seems not to exist at all.
Once, at a bar: I have not been to a bar in years. Once when I was young, there was a very rude waitress at a bar that my friends and I frequented. We left her a tip. We took a glass of water, dropped a penny in it, turned the thing upside down with a coaster on top of it, pulled the coaster out and left. She discovered this as we were getting our coats, and we laughed ourselves silly while she screamed her head off. Now that I am older, I would simply fix her with a cold look and request to speak with the manager immediately.
By noon: my caffeine is wearing off.
Last night: We packed my car with Cara's college stuff.
If only I had: more time with my children.
Next time I go to church, it is my turn to be worship leader.
What worries me most: is the cruelty in the world.
When I turn my head left I see a drop leaf table, the top covered in framed pictures, the shelf filled with books.
When I turn my head right, I see sliding glass doors with a view of my woods.
You know I'm lying when I tell you not to feel bad that your dog was humping my leg.
What I miss about the 80s is the Twin Towers.
If I were a charactor in Shakespeare, I would be something from A Midsummer's Night Dream. I love to laugh.
By this time next year, I will be 52.
A better name for me would be: I don't have an answer for this. I am what I am. I don't spend a lot of time casting around for a better name. Although when Tim calls me 'hon', it suits me just fine.
I have a hard time understanding cheaters.
If I ever go back to school I will have a hard time tolerating the language of my classmates.
You'll know I like you if I tell you so.
If I ever won an award, the first person that I would thank is: Well. I don't expect to win any awards. I guess that I'd probably thank the academy.
Take my advice, people are a mixed bag. If someone doesn't like you, they'll find plenty to criticize. If people do like you, they'll find plenty to praise. If someone criticizes you endlessly, it is more of a reflection of them than you. Don't take it to heart. Simply move on to people who can see plenty to praise in you. And if you can move on without saying "Kiss my ass" to the negative nellie (or nels) then you're doing very well, my friend.
My ideal breakfast is an 'everything' bagel and two cups of coffee.
A song I love but do not have 100 years by Five for Fighting.
If you visit my hometown, go to Jake's Rocks.
Why won't people simply 'live and let live'?
If you ever spend the night at my house you probably won't get any sleep, because I'll be asking lots of questions, finding out all about you.
I'd stop my wedding for: Sadly, when Tim and I got married, I was terrified. I would have stopped the wedding for just about anything. 10 years later, it's worked out so nicely that really, I'd like to have another wedding, just so that I could relax and enjoy myself.
The world could do without intolerance.
I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than to deal one more day with bipolar disorder in a loved one.
My favorite blonde is: Jees. I suck at stuff like this. I can't think of anyone. All the fine folks I know tend to be on the gray side....
Paper Clips are more useful than some people I know.
If I do anything well, it's encouraging others. I'm also pretty good at comforting.
I can't help but stand up for the underdog.
I cry over books, movies, children. I cry when I'm happy. I cry when I'm mad. I cry when I'm tired. I cry when life is so rich and full that there are no words. Basically, I'm a menopausal sap. Run. Run for your lives.
My advice to my children is : Don't be afraid to choose. Make sure your choices are wise because you have to live with them, but don't be afraid to make those choices. Life is for living. Work hard, play hard, suck the marrow from life's bones. Yeah. They look at me like I'm nuts too.
And by the way, I cannot throw. When I was in the army, I could throw a grenade very far.
It would go miles into the air, and fall back to the ground ten feet from where I stood. I was deemed a 'hazard', and was not allowed to throw any more grenades. Luckily, I had a MOS that pretty much guaranteed that I would not be called upon to lob grenades.
Okay. Who's next?
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Monday, August 18, 2008
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Saturday, August 16, 2008
I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about poison in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with every envelope that needs sealing. Also, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason. I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time. I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program. I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish. I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers. I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day. Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes. Because of your concern, I no longer drink Coca-Cola because it can remove toilet stains. I no longer can buy gasoline without taking someone along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl into my backseat when I'm pumping gas. I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans. I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer. And thanks for letting me know I can't boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face, disfiguring me for life. I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be nicked with a needle infected with AIDS. I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me. I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our American troops or the Salvation Army. I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan. I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe. Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat tocause me instant death when it bites me. And thanks to your great advice, I can't ever pick up $5.00 in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.I can no longer drive my car because I can't buy gas from certain gas companies! If you don't send this message to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00PM this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician...Have a wonderful day....Oh, by the way.....A South American scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read blog posts with their hand on the mouse. Don't bother taking it off now; it's too late.
Friday, August 15, 2008
Thursday, August 14, 2008
I sponsor Esperance, from Rwanda, through Women For Women, International. For $27 per month, I am providing for her family, and giving her an education and occupational training so that she will have a trade that she can use to provide for her family.
"CNN's Anderson Cooper will be highlighting the plight of women in the Democratic Republic of the Congo on the CBS news magazine, 60 Minutes, this Sunday.
This is a re-airing of the piece televised in January and included a visit to Women for Women International’s offices in the DR Congo. The program will be broadcast at 7:00 pm ET on Sunday, August 17. Please check your local listings for 60 Minutes air times.
In the piece, Anderson Cooper shared the struggles of all the women we serve in the DR Congo. Specifically, he met with Lucienne, a Women for Women International program participant.
Lucienne was held captive, tortured, abandoned by her family, and gave birth to the child of her rapist. Her story is bleak, but she is picking up the pieces of her life with the help of Women for Women International and her sponsor, Deborah. In the interview Lucienne told Anderson Cooper that she named her child Luck. “I named her Luck because I went through many hardships. I could have been killed in the forest, but I got my life back. I have hope.”
After the segment initially aired, many of you wrote to us to tell us how moved you were. We invite you to bring together your friends and family to share with them the work you support and to watch the 60 Minutes piece.
If you can’t watch together, please forward them this email and ask them to watch or record it."
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
I am just so everlastingly tired of being the villain.
Monday, August 11, 2008
I get a number of daily e-mails. Good sensible stuff like bulletins from the BBC and the Washington Post, but I also subscribe to Icanhascheezburger.com. Cara introduced me to the site, and I laugh as hard as she does. It's a strange little world these cats live in, and the 'ceiling cat/basement cat' premise slays me.
And although this is funny stuff, I can only take them in small doses because (and this will sound anal...) I can't stand the misspelled words and the poor grammar. Cara thinks this only makes the pictures funnier, because cats do not have educations, and this is how they'd write if they had opposible thumbs. Just another thing that the two of us see differently.
From time to time, I really don't have much to write about, or I'm tired, or I'm dealing with some sort of crap and have no time/patience/concentration to figure out something to say. So, I'll cheat, and post a funny picture. Jeanie commented that this site annoyed her, because she thought the jokes would be just as funny if everything was spelled correctly. It's always gratifying to find a kindred soul, even if they live halfway round the world.
I was reading the BBC articles today, and came across this.
I won't tell Jeanie if you don't.
Amended Post: Bush Babe has pointed out that, really, it's their mother that I should worry about, noting that mum used to correct the misspellings and grammar in the letters that they sent home from boarding school...and send them right back. So this post is now amended. Jeanie's on to this, due to something called a feed, so I am busted. Still...don't tell Jeanie's mum.
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Cars were disabled, and pushed off or lifted off. Note the one hood on number three. 'Happy Birthday, Mom' it read. Next year, Mom probably hopes that the boy just gets her a card. And interesting note to all of this is that twice the skies opened and it poured, and the thunder and lightning provided quite a back drop to the drama on the track. And though many in the crowd bolted at the first rain, the die-hard hoons sat right there. Neither rain, nor snow nor dead of night...pah! the post office has nothing on the hoons, to be sure. In the end, the 'Red, White, and Blue' took it for the second year running. From left to right, Walter, Luke, and Pete. Good job.
There you have it. One thing about Debby that you did not know. If you're reading this, consider yourself tagged. Inquiring minds want to know. What is something no one knows about YOU?
Man. My throat is KILLING me this morning.
Saturday, August 9, 2008
Friday, August 8, 2008
When I got to the house, the bird was untestable, being in the advanced stages of decomposition. The bat was hanging about face level at the back door. I could understand the poor woman's heebie jeebies. However, when I reached for the bat, he weakly raised his head and bared his little teeth at me. Well. Now this was a fine predicament. The woman wanted him gone. I was not going to kill him. I tried to shoo him away with a newspaper. He raised his head, bared his teeth, but did not move from his Christmas light roost. The two of us stood there staring at the thing. "Well," I said, "that's certainly not normal behavior." The woman said, "It couldn't be rabies, right? Because he's not foaming at the mouth or anything." So I turned to her and started to explain rabies, the fact that there the so called 'furious' rabies, but there is also 'silent' rabies cases where the affected creature simply acts sick. Much to my shock, the woman's eyes went wide, her mouth flew open and the loudest scream I'd ever heard rent the air. Just that quickly, the woman was gone. She leapt into her garage and slammed the door in my face. I stood there staring at her, wondering what the hell the bat was doing behind my back, scarcely daring to move. Slowly, carefully, I turned my head to see the bat still hanging on his Christmas light. I turned back to the garage door which had opened just the tiniest crack. A small sliver of her face peeked through. "He moved his head while you were talking!" she whispered hoarsely.
I am proud to say that I maintained my professional composure.
Translate this to: 'I did not wet my pants.'
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Monday, August 4, 2008
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Maybe part of this 'getting comfortable in my own skin' means that I have to have some amount of confidence in myself. Maybe I need to learn to view myself through my own eyes. I'm my own worst critic, so if my first impulse is to think "But I'm not hateful," or "I'm not a bad mom," or "I'm not unprofessional,"
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Friday, August 1, 2008
The dad walks out one more time. "Hey!" he calls. "Do you have anything for fleas in the house?"