Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Me

Bush Babe, a while back, wondered if I was ever going to post a picture of myself. Um. Well. No. I hadn't planned to. But fair's fair. I've gotten glimpses into the lives of all of you, and it is only fair that you should get a glimpse of me. It's just that I'm extraordinarily self conscious. I get so self conscious that I have never, in my life, taken a good picture. Ever. Well. Once I thought that I did. I was having a good hair day, and I thought to myself, "Self...you need to have your photo taken for your driver's license. You are also having a good hair day. Never again with the stars align in this way. You'd best heist your hinder down to the Department of Motor Vehicles and get your picture taken ASAP."
And so I did.
And when I viewed the picture, well, it was okay. Not good. I mean it was still me. But it was okay. The nice DMV lady told me that it would be mailed to me within the month. Out the door I went. In the meantime, I was kind of excited. I told people: "You know, I didn't think it was possible, but I am going to have a nice photo on my driver's license." They all gasped in awe. They had heard that good driver's license photos were possible, but they had never actually seen a driver's license with a good picture, so everyone was anxious to see this marvel.
When the driver's license arrived, I tore it open confidently. I had already viewed the picture after all. But there it was. The worst driver's license photo I'd ever had. There was a flaw in the film and it looked as if I had a giant booger hanging out of my nose. This sort of sums up how it works when I am in front of the camera. I don't know why this is, but it's a fact, and it has always been like this. And so I avoid the camera.
*************
Today, however, I decided to suck it up. Cara is home from her trip, and so I asked her to take a picture of me today. And she began to critique. "Why do you hold your head like that?" and "Just smile normally." and "Stand here" and "Turn like this" and "I swear, every time somebody points a camera at you, you get the stupidest look on your face..." After one shot, I said, "Forget it" and then she followed me around taking pictures of me while I yelled at her to put the camera away.
*************
I'll get her to take a quick photo tomorrow when she's not in a rush, and will listen to me when I say, "Just take the damn picture and gimme the camera!" Nothing worse than artsy-fartsy photographers. And curious Australians. Those two things are the worst. Nearly as bad as my pictures,

9 comments:

Bush Babe (of Granite Glen) said...

You are correct. You are indeed taking the mickey like a champ. You are also teasing like a pro... *ahem!* where's the blinking photo???

Stop worrying about what you look like... and then you will look like you ARE! It's why kids are so much easier to take photos of - lack of self-consciousness.

I have advice you possibly won't like: Let Cara set you up, relax and enjoy her taking charge, let HER go through the images and her pick her best photo. You might be surprised. She knows you better than pretty much anyone - she certainly knows your face better than you know it yourself... I bet she looks at it more than you!!

Go on. We all know you are gorgeous already. Pack the self-conscious Deb away.

Signed
The Artsy-Fartsy Interfering Pushy Aussie Happy Snapper (aka BB)

debby said...

Oh. I thought YOU were taking the mickey.

I figured that once I posted that I would do it, I couldn't back out. The hard part is getting someone to take a picture, since it is one of those things you can't really do on your own. Tim said he would take it.

Not teasing. Just nervous, but I really have been trying to challenge myself, to push myself out of my comfortable box. It really is laughable, I suppose. I'm 51, after all, and it is high time that I got comfortable with myself. I don't know where all this selfconsciousness comes from, but it is high time that I got over it. I realize it.

Redlefty said...

And here I thought I was a tease!

debby said...

OOOOh. I thought of another thing to add to my list of worst things. Redlefties. Artsy-fartsy photographers and nosy people from Oz and Redlefties. Those three things are the worst.

:^D

jeanie said...

Deb - you will notice that some Australians are not baying for your image, because then it might be noticed that only 1 image of her has ever gone on the blog, and that was a comic one.

I know your fears - I always attributed it to the fact that I have a photographer as a sister. Now I know I am not so wierd!

Mind you - it is nice to put a face to the "voice" so to speak.

How is Cara on oil paints? Maybe she could get you to sit still for hours and just give us a portrait?

debby said...

Jeanie, I KNEW you were the polite one. You can tell right away...

PaintedPromise said...

i am so laughing at the DL photo story... WHY do those always turn out SO BAD no matter how hard you try??? for some reason my first husband was especially bad, his always looked like prison mug shots lol. of course that IS where he ended up (years after we divorced thank God)

steviewren said...

The fourth grade was the last time I made a good picture so I know how you feel. I do strange things with my face in front of a camera. I've asked people...do I really look like this...they always say no...they love me though....

Debby said...

Susan: I personally think that DL pictures are horrible always to keep us honest. We all drive far more safely knowing that we will have to show our driver's license otherwise. Doncha think?

Stevie: It is amazing to me to discover how many people share 'my' phobia. That is the neatest part of blogging...when I put something out there, and the response is, 'Oh, yeah, me too.' It really has enabled me to see myself in a more realistic way I think. Thanks for that, everyone!