Saturday, June 7, 2008

Tim's Package

This is my husband Tim. He got a package today. The package was from Mikey, the Horseshoeing Housewife, out in Arizona. I'd link to her blog, like Jeanie so patiently taught me, but I can't. Mikey's offline for a while. This is sad news for Tim, because Tim has become addicted to her blog. He doesn't even read MINE. But hey, I'm not at all jealous of Mikey and her stinking blog. I'm kind of noble like that.

What could be in this box?
Tim is pretty excited.
This is Tim's excited face.

She even sent him a nice little handwritten card. Thank you for being such a loyal reader, it says. Has a cute little heart on it, and is signed by Mikey, the Horseshoeing Housewife. I'm not jealous, or nothing, even though I know that Tim really loved eating his cornflakes in the morning while reading about her latest adventure.

OOOooooooooh! Tim's getting excited here! This is his really excited face. Do you see what this is? It's a rattlesnake skin. Mikey did a charming how-to post. How to skin a rattlesnake, tan his skin, and boil down the meat off the bones so that you can sell the bones on e-bay (these are her only charactor defects, that I know of anyways). But Tim was intrigued. I showed him the post and he became infatuated with her blog. I'm not jealous though.


She left the rattles on. 7 of 'em. Oh. Tim's really excited now. To see his really excited face, refer to picture number three.

Look at the lovely pattern of the rattlesnake. And the skin is so soft and smooth. Tim thinks Mikey has done a wonderful job on this. He is honored that he has the very first rattlesnake skin she ever tanned. Speechless, even. It's hard to tell when Tim is speechless though. He's a pretty quiet guy.

Now, Tim is no stranger to decorating with dead things. This is his buck. When the kids were at home, we decorated him. He wore a red nose and tinsel around his neck at Christmas, a green hat on St. Patrick's Day, a birthday hat for everyone's birthday, all seven of them. He's really like one of the family, actually. Tim was very excited when he shot this big fellow. To see Tim's excited face, please refer to picture number three.

This is one of the other dead things in our house.

It is a brook trout.

It was a state ranked fish in 1984. That's why it has become one of the dead things that is worthy of decorating our home. Tim said that he couldn't believe his eyes when he netted it. He was very excited. To see Tim's very excited face, please refer to picture number three.

Here's another dead thing in our living/dining room. It is the feet from his first deer. These feet have a special purpose. This is where he puts his fishing pole. Tim went fishing and did not put his pole back. This particular dead thing is not my favorite. It looks like the deer is flipping us off. I try to be patient with Tim's hobbies, but I really think this would look nice hanging in the garage or something. But Tim still gets excited when he talks about his first deer. To see Tim's excited face, please refer to picture number three.

Tim carefully stretches this thing of beauty on the buffet, because it really lends a certain ambiance to the tea service he bought me. He's already talking about what sort of board we need to get. This will be mounted. Hung on our wall. I'll get a little plaque made for it.

"Presented to Tim, from Mikey, the Horseshoeing Housewife.

June 6th, 2008"

It will hang in our livingroom and Tim will show everyone who comes to visit.

Thanks, Mikey.

He's very excited about all of this.

To see his excited face, please refer to picture number three.

You made his day.

Mine too.


Redlefty said...

So cool!

You mean bloggers are real people?!?!

debby said...

Okay. Everyone out therem if you're not real, please let me know. Redlefty, stay tuned for the results of this scientific survey.

jeanie said...

Well, I am just an internet construct myself, but I can't talk for everyone - oops, blown the cover - everything that comments on Deb's blog!

jeanie said...

Oops - then I forgot to actually comment on the post!

I am very thankful that V doesn't bring dead things to the table - or even into the house - in our relationship.

Well, not yet - he is hoping that the fish will be impressive if he ever stays out too late, know what I mean...

debby said...

Once I went to work and came home to find that Tim had decorated for Chirstmas. He put a Chevy Baha truck in the front yard with an inflatable Santa in the back, and propped two buck heads on boxes with Christmas lights in their antlers, so that it appeared that two (rein)deer were driving the truck. This is my life. Decorating with dead things. We have a rather attractively tanned deer hide on the wall. Turkey feet get saved too. I don't 'get' it, myself.

Everyone please note: Tim hunts for meat. The 'trophies' are a bonus. He does not, for instance, hunt coyote because we don't eat the meat. After years of debate, he does not hunt bear. I won't eat the meat. He says he would. But bears in our area are notorious garbage eaters, and I don't want to eat anything that will fight for a dirty disposable diaper, and then wander off to eat said diaper.

Hal Johnson said...

Oh yeah, this was priceless!

As for your study, I can assert that I'm real most of the time. Sometimes I'm a real phony, but that's usually when I'm feeling grumpy and I have to go to work. Consideration for the coworkers and all that, y'know.

I haven't hunted since I was a kid, but I'm pro-hunting as long as it's for meat. But then, I don't understand people who kill things to get a "trophy." The owner of one of our local gun stores has a photo of his "ultimate trophy" in Africa: an elephant. He looked like he believed that he was the very embodiment of manhood, standing there with his foot on the trunk. If he'd killed that elephant with a stick, I might have agreed with him.

Mary Paddock said...

You are a nice wife. Much nicer than me.

My Dad, an outfitter in Montana, decorates his house with elk and deer antlers and hides (my step-mom is very, very nice). After twenty-five plus years of never missing his shot, he says he wouldn't have room for the people if he'd all hung up the heads. He's also got this whole Indian philosophy about hunting going and it doesn't involved trophies.

My husband, fortunately, isn't a big hunter so his tree-hugging wife hasn't had to face this question in her home. Good thing. She's not as nice as either you or her stepmother. :)

Buddy said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Bush Babe (of Granite Glen) said...

This was a totally amazing post - a real look inside your real house with your real husband and his real trophies. I have to agree about the deer feet - they are totally giving you the bird.

I love that you accomodate his "stuff" as well as you do. The closest we get here to "trophies" are the very occasional (old) cow hide and a set of steer horns that my Dad got done up for an old neighbour (we inherited them when he passed away). They get used to hold hats.

Thanks for the glimpse into your real world. Love it.

Your real Aussie friend

Pencil Writer said...

May Tim always show his excitement, as if PHOTO #3. Excitement isn't nearly as overwhelming for some as others. Debby, your excitement was not documented with photos, but it was self evident.

Thanks!!! ;-)