Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Screw Up Tuesday

Over on her site, Jeanie has a Screw Up Tuesday challenge. We're supposed to tell about our screw ups. I don't screw up. Well. Yesterday was kind of chaotic. I had to drive our big truck to work. It scares me. Because it's big. I've been driving the smallest car we have, so hopping in the truck is a dramatic change. I had two traps I was setting on the way into to work, because my intention was to spend the rest of the day headed in the opposite direction. So I had two batteries, two traps, two basins, two nets, a jug of gravid water, a jug of regular water to water the plants around the flag pole, the flag to put up, my bottle of water and lunch. I got my truck loaded and headed out. Walked clear into the swamp to set the first trap and discovered one of my batteries was dead, even though I'd just pulled it off the recharger. This shot my whole day in the...well. Let's just say I wasn't headed in the other direction until after I retrieved another battery and got that trap set. I drove to the shop grousing to myself, only to discover that I'd left my work keys and backpack at home. It wasn't a screw up, though. Cara had an appointment in town for her summer job, so I headed back with my battery, and Cara brought my back pack and keys in. We just met in the middle. So. You can't count that. It was not a screw up. Although, when I was driving to Erie, eating my lunch, my sandwich dripped down my shirt front. I'd forgotten to pack a napkin. It was a mess. But that wasn't a screw up, really, because I just washed my shirt out at the place where I get dry ice. The nice lady there said, "So, got any funny stories for us this week?" Yeah. They really loved the whole slipping on a frog thing last week. My goose story had them laughing for weeks last year, and there always seems to be something that's going on that strikes them as just the funniest damn thing ever, although, I'm telling them Mikey's story the next time I go in. I don't think she even knew about the challenge.
'Screw up' means that it's something you did, right? So I wouldn't count the day that I went into a store, straight after a full night shift to do some Christmas shopping before heading up on the hill. When I was pushing my cart through the little 'shoplifter catcher thingy-ma-bob', blue lights started flashing, and sirens went off. I stood there mortified while they went through my loaded cart with my receipt. I mean I looked like crap, everyone was looking, even Tim's ex, with that condescending little smirk she has. Even though I knew I hadn't stolen a thing, I'm sure my face was red. Turned out a video (which was on the receipt) had not been demagnitized.
The manager explained "It's really a busy time of the year. The cashiers get distracted."
No kidding.
But that wasn't MY screw up.
So it doesn't count, right?
Just noticed Jeanie's post specified adolescence. Boy, that narrows it down. I could tell you about my mother's tradition of hauling all her girls into the beauty shop to get our hair cut in pixie cuts for summer vacation (think Mia Farrow in 'Rosemary's Baby'). We hated it. I was so gangly and thin and the hair didn't help. We lived in an area that had a handful of year-round residents, but in the summer, the empty camps were filled with wealthy people from the city. One summer, right after the dreaded haircut, much to my surprise, the boys from the camp next to our house showed up with their family, came over straightaway, struck up conversation with me, joking and laughing. I got this shy feeling that this summer was going to be different. A little glow of happiness overtook me. Alas it was not to be. There had been a terrible mistake. They had mistaken me for my brother. Oh. The drama. The mortification. It was, by the way, the last pixie haircut I ever allowed.
But this thing wasn't my screw up.
It was my mother's.
So it doesn't count, right?
I'm thinking, I'm thinking. There was the time in high school that I was watching a boy pass by with my head down, my long hair hiding my face. I was fiecely shy. I was so busy discreetly watching this boy that I walked into a pole. Hard. Like I smacked the side of my head so hard, I saw stars, and nothing else, didn't dare to move for fear I'd fall down, and to top it off, I'd actually hit my head so hard, I was nauseous. Everyone was staring. Only good thing about that was that I couldn't see them. I heard them laughing though.
That was my screw up.
There you go.
Screw Up Tuesday.


jeanie said...

No, it never counts if it was someone else's fault.

A cute boy once draped his arm around my shoulder and said sweetly into my ear "so, where's your sister?"

I couldn't read your last bit of the story as the map of the world covers it - I am placing that in the lap of the internet gods, not your fault...

debby said...

Yes. 'Twar the pesky internet gods.

My map is a discreet little thing off to the side. You can't just 'click' it off? How odd. I wonder if I should just remove it. Anyone else having problems due to the map?

debby said...

PS 'So. Where's your sister?' Ouch. Oooh.

Pencil Writer said...

Life here just ain't fair. But it is entertaining--sometimes only in retrospect.

I never screw up either. I just fail to be able to spell. And remember things. Like the one time I was going to introduce my husband to someone . . . we'd been married well over 20 years by then . . . and I can't explain it, but my mind went totally blank. Seriously. So, to kind of attempt to leap over my blank memory banks I looked at my husband and asked, "So, tell me what your name is again?" Grace under fire, that's me! Talk about a major faux pas. I'm surprised the man even speaks to me to this day--and anniversary #38 is coming up soon.

So which is worse: forgetting your husband's name while trying to introduce him to someone you know, or forgetting your own name at the check out line in the grocery store when you're trying to sign the check?

I've done both. Does that beat yours, Debby? Not that this is a contest I'm dying to win.

Redlefty said...

Oh boy. Let's see if this link works -- it goes to four stories of my screw-ups:


debby said...

PW - okay. Forgetting your husband's name is bad, but read Redlefty's stuff. Dear heavens. You and me, even YOU, Jeanie...blessed. WE ARE BLESSED, compared to Redlefty. ROFL. Bigtime. You, sir, get the screw up crown.

Lavinia Ladyslipper said...

On those kinds of days, the best part is turning out the light at night and saying arrivederci to the day! The best thing you can say is, "Thank goodness it's over".

Here's sending you a 'consolation hug' ((((( ))))))

Pencil Writer said...

Yer rite, Deb. Redlefty definitely wins on the screw-up challenge. Bless his little heart!

Bush Babe (of Granite Glen) said...

Too funny... totally feel your pain in the final one there Deb!!!

And Jeanie... I have no idea what you are talking about. Well, I might. Actually, I think he's on the market again!! Heh heh... not worth it, my dear.