Monday, June 9, 2008

Dadblamed Bush Babe

I was keeping a very low profile on this one, trying to avoid the tag. But Bush Babe got me.
I'm supposed to share my beauty secrets.
*rolling on floor laughing*
*wipes tears, regains composure*
Okay, now, I was raised in a house where vanity was strongly discouraged. No make-up, until I just went ahead and started wearing it. Poor Dad could not look at me without pointing out I looked like a whore. Add that to several years in a bad marriage and what you have is someone who hates how she looks and can't stand herself in pictures. Do I wear make up?
Yes.
Each and every day.
But I hate talking about my looks.
I'm a team player, though.
And I'm planning to get BB back.
I will.
I swear.
So here goes.
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Foundation:
L'oreal Age Perfect.
Enough Said.
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Mascara:
Great Lash/Black, brown eye shadow for contouring
I have dark hair and dark skin and blue eyes.
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Day Cream:
I can't wear day cream. My anti-wrinkle cream gives me zits. How funny is that?
I have very oily skin, do not need any additional moisturizing.
I think I could probably solve America's oil crisis.
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Essential Beauty Product:
Tim.
Funny story: when we were combining households, I found a picture of an beautiful Indian woman with a wolf. I said, "What do you want to do with this?" I was hoping he'd say it was out the door. He said, "Oh, get rid of it. The kids got it for me for Christmas a while back." Me: (feeling guilty) "Well, don't get rid of it, if the kids gave it to you..." And he said, "It blew my mind when I first met you. You look just like her. Who needs the picture when you've got the real thing." Me: (squinting and tilting the picture this way and that) "I don't look like that." Tim:"Yes, actually, you do." So the most essential beauty product I've got is Tim. When you are desired and beloved, you can begin to believe that you might be beautiful. I never felt like that before I met him.
So.
I'm keeping him.
You all can find your own essential beauty product.
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Perfume:
Chantilly for the dress up times.
Otherwise I smell like Sandalwood and Cinnamon. Body wash, followed by huge amounts of lotion. I go through the lotion.
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Hair:
I always wore my hair very long until last year. Now it is shorter, but I like it. I color it once every six weeks. Nutrisse, medium brown. My auntie tells me that you should always go a shade lighter than your normal shade, otherwise you look like a punk rocker with wrinkles. Big fan of the Aussie hair care line.
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Nails:
Nothing. I work for a living. I also bite my nails when stressed. They grow long, and then they're gone. So nope, don't mess with my nails at all.
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Feet:
I just slather them with sandalwood and cinnamon lotion.
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Three things to bring to a desert island.
Bodywash, lotion, and lip balm and Nair Wax. Like all dark skinned, dark haired women of a certain age, I have a mustache. Once I introduced a speaker. He had a huge handlebar mustache. I said, "He waxes his mustache. I wax mine. Completely different results. Fascinating, isn't it?"
(And yes, I know it's four things, but I don't care.)
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Who I admire for her beauty.
Angelina Jolie.
Can't think of anyone else.
Don't especially sit around gauging other women.
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Don't read any fashion magazines.
Don't pay attention to style.
I'm a blue jeans kind of gal. Lately taken to flowy skirts.
Both worn with tees or tanks.
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How I define womanhood?
A woman is a caretaker, someone who does whatever it is that needs to be done for her family, however she defines that word. The very best women are strong, self reliant, principled, and courageous. I am a woman of charactor, and the women that I love best are women of charactor as well.

12 comments:

Mary Paddock said...

I agree with you about husbands being essential to a beauty regime. That random, "You're beautiful" is more theraputic than any moisturizer. (Smiling is good for the face).

Mary Paddock said...

PS. You're supposed to pay attention to your feet too?

Oops.

jeanie said...

lol don't darn us, please!!

I loved your essential beauty product (in a theoretical, laughing and crying way, of course).

May have to find out until tomorrow who you admire, read and define, though - because Asia and Siberia fairly much cover that section.

Redlefty said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Pencil Writer said...

As always--man! My brain's been jumbled. Or my typing fingers! (Essence of recent root canal, I s'pose.) I love your comment about Tim being your essential beauty product. Dittos. Asbolutely love your sense of humor--esp. the waxed mustache comments. Way to go, Debby. Your blog is a must read every day.

Bush Babe (of Granite Glen) said...

We have a whole label devoted to "darn Oz people"??? Heavens, I feel very special...

Loved your effort... see how much we all enjoyed your take on it. I have to admit I feel very self-absorbed compared to y'all... me and my huge list of famous people I love (must add Angelina there - although I am not at all sure she is completely mortal!! The woman looks gorgeous regardless of the angle, and she has Brad Pitt. Is this fair??).

I'll shut up now.
BB

debby said...

Yes. Your very own label. If you make me ornery, I'll start changing adjectives, so there! (I hope you know this is all in good humor...I'm just a very self conscious person). And no, it is not fair that this Angelina goddess has more than her fair share of good looks AND Brad Pitt. Jeeeeees, but he was fine in 'Legends of the Fall' and one of my favorite movies is 'A River Runs Through It'. And gushing like this is out of charactor for me, so I'm going to stop.

Except one more thing: she has all those looks, Brad Pitt, AND MORE MONEY than I could spend in a life time. Really. Not fair at all.

Scotty said...

My regime is quite simple actually...

Shower, daily, with soap and/or shower gel.

Shampoo what's left of my hair a few times a week.

Brush teeth twice daily and visit dentist regularly.

Use an unscented underarm deodorant but a DKNY body spray.

A dab of Tsar by Arpels and Van Cleef or Tasmanian Huon Pine as my aftershave.

Other beauty secrets?

Smile, be approachable, and exercise the mind on a regular basis.

:-)

Bush Babe (of Granite Glen) said...

And she's an earth-mother with rainbow kids... enough to make one vomit really.

Heh, heh. Glad we found a sensitive spot there that makes you gush!!! So to speak...

BB

debby said...

Jees Scotty. By your accounting, you should be tripping over a beard. Or do you pluck?

Men have it so easy...

Yes, BB. That is one lucky woman, but I'm happy with my lot in life, and it appears that you've got your own enviable slice of life.

Scotty said...

Oooooh, I love to grow a beard and do so every vacation; it's part of my job that I have to be clean-shaven so that I can wear an air suit so I just love an opportunity to throw the razor away for a while.

And yes, we guys have it easy, for sure.

:-)

debby said...

You should post pictures of the beard, Scotty! I'm trying to imagine.