Tuesday, June 17, 2008

The Cusp

It's really kind of reached out and smacked me in the face that my children are grown up.
I'm feeling kind of amazed by this.
Lovinia made a very Lovinia-like comment: she said I sounded melancholy.
Am I?
No. Not really. but...
There is a period of shock when you realize that it is done. While I am still a mom, my children are not still children, and so the relationship changes. They are not dependent on me. Watching them step out, knowing that they will be fine, that they are ready to live life on their own...there is a certain satisfaction about that, a chance to take a breath, a deep breath, and know that you've done your job. I am sure that there are still important moments where my kids will need their mom, but the childrearing is done.
So what's next?
I'm not sure.
I'm excited to see.
Right this moment, I feel like Gemini, the zodiac figure with the dual faces - one face looking back, the other gazing forward. This is a strange time. I wait, caught between the end and the beginning, watching quietly as my life unfolds.


jeanie said...

I have a friend who said that the empty-nest phase should be regarded more, as you have to mourn for what has gone.

Bush Babe (of Granite Glen) said...

OK Deb - here is what I would do if I suddenly had NO KIDS to care for 24/7.

1. Watch movies - from start to finish (no interruptions). I might even do a movie marathon or watch ALL episodes of Sex and the City, just cause I could.

2. Take a very long bath - knowing that no-one would burst in on me without knocking and demand that I attend to an urgent lost bear/something else dramatic.

3. Do coffee with friends. All day. At places with breakable merchandise.

4. Have relaxed late dinner parties with friends, with all the good glasses and china.

5. Plan to go for a well-earned trip (perhaps to the other side of the world!!!).

That help?? It's ALL ABOUT YOU, for a blessed change!!! Enjoy...


Lavinia Ladyslipper said...

I can guarantee that they will continue to need you, especially when their own kids come along.

Here I am, mid-forties, and I *still* depend on my parents for so many things. My mother cleans my oven (I don't/won't learn how), they babysat countless times, driving my daughter here and there, and still many times I have to pick up the phone to call mom and ask her advice about this that or the other.

Debby, this is indeed a new chapter in your life! Savour and enjoy the lull....rediscover...you! And all those interests you let lapse over the years, as mothers do....

PaintedPromise said...

as for me i cannot wait, i am so close... my oldest has been gone and married for a few years, and we have SUCH a wonderful relationship now... i am so looking forward to having that same relationship with the other two, once they are out from under my roof and i am not the nagging mom anymore!! i was very lucky to be good friends with my mom once i myself was grown and gone, and so far so good with my one... some people say grandkids are the reward for putting up with your kids, but as it appears at this point i won't be getting any human grandchildren, my special friendship with my girls may well be my only my reward... regardless, i will treasure it greatly