It's really kind of reached out and smacked me in the face that my children are grown up.
I'm feeling kind of amazed by this.
Lovinia made a very Lovinia-like comment: she said I sounded melancholy.
No. Not really. but...
There is a period of shock when you realize that it is done. While I am still a mom, my children are not still children, and so the relationship changes. They are not dependent on me. Watching them step out, knowing that they will be fine, that they are ready to live life on their own...there is a certain satisfaction about that, a chance to take a breath, a deep breath, and know that you've done your job. I am sure that there are still important moments where my kids will need their mom, but the childrearing is done.
So what's next?
I'm not sure.
I'm excited to see.
Right this moment, I feel like Gemini, the zodiac figure with the dual faces - one face looking back, the other gazing forward. This is a strange time. I wait, caught between the end and the beginning, watching quietly as my life unfolds.