Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Shadow

I know a girl who is one of the nicest girls you'd ever want to meet.
One of the prettiest.
She drives me flipping crazy.
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The thing is, she does not pull her weight. She does not pitch in and help. She tells people "This is not my job" a lot. Her projects are overdue. She spends a lot of time at meetings that she does not participate in, although she is quick to blame the rest of the team if there's a problem. It's easy to do that when you've played no part in the project except for showing up at the meetings.
She stresses over small things, is oblivious to the big picture, sort of lingers at the side lines, hoping no one notices she's there.
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I try to be patient with her, but it's getting increasingly difficult. But I wonder what it is like to spend your life on the periphery, avoiding action, avoiding involvement, avoiding commitment, never saying what you think. I try to imagine that kind of a life, and have decided that spending your life in the shadows is not really living at all. Sometimes I find myself wondering if she is really even real, or merely a figment of my imagination, a wisp of a person who disappears in the wind.

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