Thursday, April 10, 2008

4 AM

This is a story about the trash.
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Cara's job is to take out the trash.
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We have a back deck.
It is not a trash can.
The trash can is about 3 steps off the deck.
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Winston is the neighbor's dog. The neighbors say that they keep hoping that he will go to the neighbor's house and not come back. We are the neighbors that they are referring to. We keep hoping the neighbors will go somewhere and not come back.
Winston is always hungry. He likes trash.
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This is a story about the husband that gets woke by the dog that gets into the trash that my daughter takes out and sets on the back deck.
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A story about the wife who gets woke up by the husband who's been woke up by the dog that gets into the trash that my daughter takes out and sets on the back deck.
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A tale of the daughter who gets woke up by the wife who is now trying to soothe the husband who's been woke up by the dog that gets into the trash that my daughter takes out and sets on the back deck.
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The continuing saga of the husband who is now furious at the daughter who got woke up by the wife who was trying to soothe her husband who was woke up by the dog that got into the trash that my daughter takes out and sets on the back deck.
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A family drama about the rumpled, half awake daughter who stands defiantly in front of my husband saying, of all things, "This is about the fucking trash?" which further infuriates the husband already furious at the daughter who got woke up by the wife who was trying to soothe her husband who was woke up by the dog that got into the trash that my daughter takes out and sets on the back deck.
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This is the wife who ends the argument, right there, because when people are being rude they have no business talking at all.
This is the wife who makes the daughter take the trash to the can.
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Good morning.
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It's been a stressful week for everyone here.
Family meeting tonight.
Attendance mandatory.
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The end.

8 comments:

Pencil Writer said...

Why does it seem to be such a major thing for people to just take out the trash? It amazes me that so much contention can arise about such a mundane, essential task. (We have SO MANY instances related to that topic.)

Maybe we could collaborate on a book "In-s and Out-s of Trash Related Trauma" or something.

I am REALLY sorry you had such a lousey awakening this morning. May you find some lovely daffodils or other equally lovely reminder that life can be beautiful under all the rubbish.

Maybe your other family members can remember the same and come to appreciate each other and working together in a spirit of love and understanding. Harmony = happiness. Yes?

jeanie said...

Oh, but you make it sound SO MUCH FUN...

debby said...

Wasn't fun. Eyes practically fell out of my head. Never heard Cara use the f bomb before. Or swear much at all, actually. PW: harmony does equal happiness, however both Tim and Cara are demanding to know why they are being punished by the mandatory family meeting. Now they are united in their opinion that I'm the bad guy. Sigh. Family dynamics are something.

Hal Johnson said...

I'm sorry to laugh at your pain, but I'm not in the mood to cry this morning.

My wife is a patient woman, but she has her limits. Dylan and I sometimes get in trouble with her at the same time, and for the same reason. I guess that might be one reason she refers to us as "her boys."

debby said...

Hal: have you and Dylan ever gotten into trouble with your patient wife at 4 AM? If so, how patient was she at that time. Because, really, about the time my two were both glaring at ME, I was ready to open a can of whup-butt on both of 'em. Jees. We're usually such a quiet bunch...

Alison said...

Hope your family meeting was productive and peace restoring!
Early morning + rude awakening + trash + stress can NOT be a good combination. Fingers crossed these particular events don't occur in unison again.

Mary Paddock said...

Have your daughter take the trash over to Winston's people's house. When he gets into it and they ask how it got there, tell them you were simply saving Winston a few steps. :)

debby said...

Mary: LOL!