I am trying to remember the last time when I was mad. REALLY mad. It was probably, sadly, at my mother. She has four children. Two of them are perfect. Two of them so deeply flawed that no matter what they do, it cannot make up for their deficient charactors. In case you haven't guessed, I'm one of the flawed children. Listening to my mother going on about her two perfect children (who are not THAT perfect) really pisses off the two flawed children (who are not THAT flawed). Anyways,when I get good and fired up, somebody is going to get a piece of my mind. Confucious say '(Wo)Man quick to give piece of mind soon have no mind left'. So I try to temper my temper, since I don't like the feeling of being mad, and I need to hang on to the mind I've got left.
Cara is getting the paperwork together to go off to college. She's excited at the thought of being on her own. I'm not going to tell her that she won't really be on her own. All I would get is a piece of HER mind, and college is expensive. She needs to hang on to her mind until she's educated.
I'm thinking of the latest school shooting. 5 dead, 19 wounded. It makes me sick, just sick. I met the grandparents of one of the Virginia Tech victims last fall. Jeremy belonged to the same professional organization I do, and I had just come from our annual conference where a memorial had been placed for him. It was pure coincidence that I ran into his grandparents just a couple weeks later. I find myself remembering their pain and grieving for the families of these latest victims.
I struggle within myself to be excited for Cara as she plans her future.
I still cannot conceive of that level of anger. I don't understand rage deep enough to lash out in a hail of gunfire aimed at anyone, at anything. I've been plenty mad from time to time, but I have
never been that pissed at ANYTHING in my life.
I'm trying to be excited for Cara. I'm really trying.