Saturday, January 26, 2008

Feminine Hygiene and Dogs

Buck-the-amazing-wonder-dog decided to liven up my otherwise dull and dreary life. I'm not sure what got into the beast but he did something that he has never done before in all his eight years. He got into the bathroom trash. I had an awful feeling that he had ingested a feminine hygiene item. Just guessing. Not sure. I was pretty worried. Call the vet...not call the vet? What to do? Finally, I decided to watch him for the next couple days for signs of distress. Nothing. Acted pretty normal, just like any other tampon eating dog.
A couple days later, my husband comes tearing home. He'd found a side by side refrigerator with the ice/water dispenser in the door and this thing of joy was marked down from $1498 to $719. He wanted me to look at it, and he wanted to be quick about it, sure that a bargain like that would be snapped up in a matter of minutes. I'd just put the dog out the back door to do his business, so I called him. He did not come. Tim was getting increasingly antsy. Finally he went out to bring the dog in. He was back in the matter of a half minute, his face reflecting shock, disgust, and hysterical laughter.
He said, "You need to do something for your dog. He has a string hanging out his a** and he can't seem to crap."
Egads. How in the hell do you transport a case like that to the vet? By the time that I got my boots on and headed out the door, Buck was trotting back to the house. His trial had passed.
We keep the bathroom door closed now.


PaintedPromise said...


"we keep the bathroom door closed now"


oh my, i about fell off my chair...

Mikey said...

ROTFL! Me too. Been there, but never seen it come out the other end. I bet Hubby's never seen that either.

Gross, but damn funny!!!

Bush Babe (of Granite Glen) said...

OK I'm sneaking back into your archives here, and this is one of the funniest things I have ever read!!! Dear Lord... I have tears running down my face. I do so love toilet humour with a feminine hygiene twist...
*starts giggling like a demented schoolgirl again*